hate myself

[lovefool]

I feel such a fool sometimes. My dh left before and lived with another woman. Let's just say she was the catalyst as marriage had not been wedded bliss for a while shall we say. I found out during our time apart that he had had numerous affairs while we had been married and i never had a clue. We got back together and i feel utterly crap and hate myself for being so weak and pathetic. We have been back together 2 years but i can't forget. I don't think the love can come back like it was, the hurt is too deep. I just don't know what to do.

please dont ever think that no one else will want you....
my ex left me for someone else 2 years ago... i was uterrly destroyed...prob for about a year....

but i have moved on, i have started dating again, and life is better, i work, i make my own decisions, i cook what i want, i do what i want with my girls ages 9 and 4,

me and girls go on hols next week... they cant wait to go on a boat to the isle of wight!!

i never thought i would but i have moved on loads .. it was not easy but i have come through the other end...

I could not be with someone who had been unfaithful.... because i would never let them out my sight ever again... but lots of people do make it work...

i am no way compleatly over it , my ex gets married next saturday.... and i really dont know what to do with myself that day

what i am saying is please dont stay because of the little ones, or because you think you wont meet someone- it is better to be on your own and happy.....

snowwonder good for you, so glad you have gotten this far.

Little details it is weird the similarities with what has happened to you, my eldest two are also teenagers. How exactly do you meet people on the internet, i have often wondered this

I joined a dating agency called udate. You just search on men in your area with the criteria that you are looking for. It can be real good fun i spent hours chatting but you have to keep an open mind. I got on really well with men by email and over the phone and found them attractive from their photos but when I met them...well what a shock! Initially I didint want to hurt their feelings but I soon learnt I had to be hard. You just have to be honest about yourself and the interested blokes will chat to you. Dont worry about the stigma attached to internet dating because as far as Im concerned you can get to find out a lot more from someone over the internet and phone than if you meet them in a pub, that is off course they are telling the truth and your womens intuition will tell you that. Im very open and men who wasnt the same and who I couldnt contact 24/7 rasised suspicion with me that they were hiding something like a wife or girlfriend so I steered clear.

Its great fun and gives your ego a boost when men contact you, just be careful, keep an open mind and dont fall in love as you could get hurt...just have some fun.

Oh and my best mate and my 2yrs old dad meet and married people off this site in the same month last year and all the women are pregnant and due within two months of each other!

Thanks for that. I think my age bothers me too as am over 40. How old are you hope you dont mond me asking, as you said you had teenagers. I do worry about being past it and no-one wanting me

i really think you have to repair your self-esteem. how really depends on you. counselling? doing something for yourself like further study? just getting out and doing something for yourself? i personally have to have time on my own to just have a cup of coffee and think about how i feel about things. i don't know how deeply you feel this, and what the appropriate way to go about healing yourself is, but i think you need to start exploring the avenues.

I was 34 when I started internet dating and 37 now. I just know that it helped me through things to know that there were men out there who found me attractive and it made me feel really good about myself and helped take my mind off my ex. It used to fill my lonely evenings when the kids had gone to bed and I used to chat til the early hours.

Age is not important my husband is 40 and his last partner was 43. Just be careful on internet dating that there are a load of old (and young) pervy men out there that can be quiet crude. And always take everyting they say with a pinch of salt. They are not all like that as I say I know three couples that are now married.