Hi all x
My partner and I are going through a bit of a difficult time. a few weeks ago after spending most Saturdays with his friend working on cars I was looking forward to having him home for a weekend as he is a lorry driver and is away all week. Then on the Wednesday he said he totally forgot but he’d agreed to take his friends sister and mother to IKEA for the day. I was a bit upset but I said okay as he said he was doing his friend this favour because he helped him out so much with his car and van and it was the least he could do. I’ve been going through a hard time anyway because I feel like I’ve lost all my friends after my one son has gone up to senior school and I just don’t see them as much as I did and I’ve been feeling lonely. I was dwelling on the fact he was taking two women that I don’t really know out for the day whilst I’m stuck at home again on my own again with the kids whilst it is pouring down outside I don’t drive so I’m just like a prisoner sat around waiting for him to come home. It all came to a head that night and I got upset about it I ended up having a breakdown and telling him how lonely I’ve been feeling and that his friend had gone to a wedding and Instead of spending that time with his family he is doing favours for his friends family! and I just wanted more loving support and reassurance. So I’ve been on edge for the last few weeks my anxiety has been bad but I have been trying to make more of an effort to talk and text him even sending sexy texts and pics to try to be closer and less lonely and I thought we were doing good. Then Saturday he got really drunk after having a bad day at work and I saw that he’s had a message from this woman so once he went to bed I looked at his phone and read all the messages and it turns out it was him who offered to take her to IKEA and not her brother at all asking him for a favour and he was planning on taking just her and then mid week she had asked if her mum could come so there was no plan to take the both of them in the first place just her and that’s when he told me so why not tell me before why pretend he’d forgotten as they were texting daily to say not long etc. said. And then the most recent messages were him offering to take her again! As she had bought the wrong size shelves for something.
I know I shouldn’t of done it I’ve never done it before but because I’ve been so low and so anxious about things lately it I think I just got paranoid but I told him I had read it and he said he didn’t mind me looking at his phone and he said that he had nothing to hide. I told him to re read the messages and tell me what he would think if it was a male sending those to me. So he starts crying and telling me nothing is going on and I’m the love of his life doesn’t want to lose me and all that jazz and that’s all well and good he can say sorry as much as he wants but he’s always saying is that he doesn’t fancy her was just trying to help her out. But I can’t help thinking that he does. So because he is so upset I end up saying don’t worry about it I forgive you I know nothing is happening it’s all okay we are okay and I’m offering him love and comfort and support when I think he’s the one he’s acting out of order so inside I’m still really angry and I feel like I can’t even say anything now because he’s acting so upset I could really use some advice on this please or even just your perspectives from an outside you So because he’s so upset that I end up saying don’t worry about it I forgive you I know nothing is happening it’s all okay we are okay and I’m offering him comfort and support when I think he’s the one he’s acting out of order so inside I’m still really angry and I feel like I can’t even say anything now because he’s acting so upset and now he’s away again till Friday and I can’t sleep and I feel so anxious about it all. I could really use some advice on this please or even just your perspectives from an outside view xxx