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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel the need to escape.. run as fast as I can!

4 replies

Whatshisproblem · 04/11/2019 19:22

I'm just feeling so suffocated by dp. All he ever talks about is work, critising how I look after dd or making sexual references.. doesnt even bother speaking to our DD who is 1. If he does it's only to say no or to make some inappropriate remark. The past year it has been the case, little help from him and yet today feels different. He has taken some time off to spend with us all was going well that was until he changed dds nappy. Dd hates her nappy being changed, will flip, roll and scream to avoid it not all the time but most which for her age is pretty normal. DP obviously couldn't handle this so says "if you'd stop letting her get up and walk away she wouldn't do this" and I just snapped. Usually I just remain silent or I say little but today I put him in his place. I don't let DD just walk away and even if it were the case it isn't the reason that she has a tantrum, she doesn't want her nappy on she is her own person and she is letting us know that so how dare he say this 'bad' behavior is because of me.

So here I am, everytime DD cries or does something he doesn't like it's because of me. And as much as I tell him he can't understand that kids aren't perfectly behaved and that it'll get a lot worse as she pushes for independence he doesn't get it. And now I want out, out of this house and out of this relationship so I can be happy again without having him drag me down. I want someone I can laugh with when things get crazy.. when DD takes off her nappy in protest, when things could become so stressful but instead of tearing each other down we look at each other smile and say I got you. Is that too much too ask for these days?

OP posts:
pog100 · 04/11/2019 19:29

No it's not too much to ask, it's what a healthy relationship looks like. I well remember our DS running off down a hill, nappy at half mast, turds flying, 100s watching and us both laughing our heads off. That's what you could and should have.
Get out, please.

Whatshisproblem · 04/11/2019 19:54

That's exactly what I want @pog100, when stuff like that happens all you can really do is laugh. Once DD did manage to undo her nappy and just stood looking at me nodding her head and then peed all over the floor.. I just chuckled and then got on with the clean up. DP can't even stand it when she gets messy having food

OP posts:
boringornot · 04/11/2019 19:58

"I want someone I can laugh with when things get crazy.. when DD takes off her nappy in protest, when things could become so stressful but instead of tearing each other down we look at each other smile and say I got you." --> I love this. Best definition of a good relationship.

Walk away. I wish I had your clarity when my DC were that young. I'm walking away 9 years later.

Sally2791 · 04/11/2019 20:19

Definitely get away and enjoy your child!

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