I have been friends with let’s call him Matt since university about 25 years. It has been like a brother sister relationship for the first 10 years, we shared houses as students etc, met up regularly. Went on holiday one year when both our partners at the time let us down. I married about 15 years ago, he doesn’t get on my with my husband particularly although they are polite and we still used to meet up. Sometimes with DJ and sometimes just us or with other friends. 5 years ago he met a new partner and they recently got married. Since he met his new partner I have only seen him on his own once or twice, when we have arranged to meet up along with other uni mates, she always comes along too (none of the other partners do)and it has become very obvious that he is creating more distance with me more recently since the birth of his children and naturally we have both been really busy too. I also have kids.
He got married last month in another European country (birthplace of his bride). Without wishing to put myself completely it was in a non touristy destination which cost a massive amount for me nearly £1500 for me and DH for three nights (August). It meant that as a family we didn’t have a holiday this year and I now feel really guilty about this. At the wedding itwas obvious that he thinks of me now simply as a friend he used to know and in the magazine they handed round commemorating their relationship at the wedding which gave the stories of bride and groom, all aspects of Matts life were represented except his uni mates incl me and a couple of uni friends said how wierd that it was especially that I wasn’t mentioned.
Firstly I completely appreciate that life moves on and he just doesn’t see our friendship as important anymore. I get it but I feel so sad that the last 20 years could means so little. I know I need to pull my big girl pants up but would be very grateful for thoughts on how I do this.