Partner doesn’t care about my anxiety

[lolaband142]

I suffer bad anxiety when I have arguments with my partner. This only happens when I argue with him, and he is the only person in my life who I argue with. When I have these anxiety attacks he shows no compassion or care, he's even told me to go into an empty room and deal with it myself when I've asked him to calm me down.
Numerous times throughout our day to day lives he shows a complete disrespect towards me in terms of just ignoring me all day, not doing any house work and expecting me to do it, shouts at me a lot even though I've told him this is one of the main causes of my anxiety. If I pull him on something he tells me to 'shut up' or worse 'shut the fuck up'. I try and calmly explain things from my point of view but you can see he isn't interested.
I don't know what to do, this relationship is causing me so much painful anxiety and panic attacks. We have been together almost 9 years, 1 child together and a business. I'm trying my hardest to make it work but it just seems one sided

It sounds like he doesn’t really understand what you want from him.
I get that he’s not taking on any of the domestic stuff, and that’s upsetting you. But he’s not responsible for your anxiety. It sounds like he can’t deal with it at all. You say you work together as well, do you have anything you do for yourself that you enjoy? Does he?
You sound really unhappy, have you had any support for your anxiety from your GP?

Not sure you're describing anxiety tbh. Sounds more like trauma or stress from dealing with an abusive arsehole day in day out.

Have a think about your options for leaving. Do not discuss with him!

@Herocomplex I understand he’s not responsible for my anxiety, but he is the cause of it, which he is dismissive of despite talking to him numerous times about it.
Yes we have our own times apart, I’d say most of the time at home we spend doing our own thing due to him playing on his xbox more so than not. We go out with friends etc too..
I’ve not spoke to my GP regarding it because it’s never happened as frequently as it has done the last month or 2, and as I said it’s only ever when he gets angry and we argue because of his lack of empathy (makes me think he doesn’t care/love me anymore which triggers the anxiety). I was hoping I could talk him through my anxiety in hope that he’d lay off me when he can see me getting worked up but it doesn’t work (bear in mind that when we argue, it’s me talking calmly and him shouting - I’m not a confrontational person)
Honestly I’m just stuck, feeling lonely and don’t know what to do.
I last had an anxiety attack about 2 hours ago. He still hasn’t come to check up on me.

That’s miserable, he’s just ignoring your distress then. I’d go to your GP.
Do you have any other friends or family who you can talk to? Playing on the Xbox when there’s stuff to be done is just ridiculous. Has he ever taking responsibility for stuff? He sounds quite immature to be honest.

If he's disrespectful and nasty then why are you still with him?

The way your partner is treating you and talking to you is (understandably) causing you great anxiety.
The obvious and simple answer is to take some control and decisive action and remove yourself from the source of the problem. End this abusive relationship.
This relationship is severly impacting on your mental health. Being shouted at and told to shut the fuck up would be stressful to anyone, and anxiety is a natural response.
Do yourself a favour. End the relationship and move away from the anxiety inducing circumstances.