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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When to introduce a new partner

2 replies

Athrawes · 03/11/2019 21:45

My husband and I separated in February and I moved out into a rental in April. Our son (9) is seemingly fine - we are 50:50 co-parenting and as far as he can see, being polite and respectful to one another, make each other a cup of tea when I go round to collect him etc. He does know that Daddy is sad though and that Mummy was the one who no longer wanted to live with Daddy.

So, the reason we split was that I re-met an old love and as soon as this happened it reinforced that our marriage was not what I wanted it to be. As soon as I knew this I told ex-DH, not prolonging, giving him - in Mumsnet speak - the chance to find someone who loves him etc.

This post isn't asking for judgement of my actions, which I know ended the marriage.

So, when can I introduce ex-new-love to our son? I haven't mentioned him at all to my son, wanting him to settle into new life arrangements first and not make it like I have replaced Daddy instantly. I was thinking maybe next April-ish, when it's been a year that I left. Starting with low-key meet up, ice cream. Then maybe have him come to dinner...before sleepovers.
My ex will put up a fight whenever it happens - understandably he hates my new-old-partner.

OP posts:
GrapefruitGin · 03/11/2019 21:52

Honestly, I don’t think you should even be thinking about it at all. You don’t really need to plan 5 months in advance, just continue to focus on settling your son into the new family dynamic and it will become naturally clear when it’s right for the introduction to take place. Definitely not any time soon.

Lozzerbmc · 04/11/2019 03:52

Hi i agree I dont think you should worry about it just now or make your son aware of the new relationship. There’s no hurry is there. See how it goes next year.

Your son will have had time to get more used to his new normal and might feel Dad is not so sad by then.

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