Should I stay or should I go ... now

[JenaWren]

I could use some advice about a guy I've been seeing for a couple of months.

It started off great. He was keen, I was more cautious and said I just wanted to keep things light and no commitment. I'm very wary of relationships.

A few weeks ago things changed. The contact and the affection dropped off. I asked him if he wanted out and he said he really didn't. He was just feeling rubbish - ill and down. To be fair, he has been pretty ill and he has a lot on his plate. We've talked and I can see he is unhappy about some pretty big stuff.

We still message most days and see each other once a week or so. But I'm starting to feel unhappy and I'm not sure what to do. Do I talk to him, do I knock it on the head or do I carry on keeping things light and giving him space?

Hi OP...I think this relationship isnt right for you.The reason I think this is (the fact that for a newish relationship ) that you are asking advice.If the relationship was something you really felt like you were happy to invest in then you would know what to do//does that make sense? If it was ok you wouldnt question what to do and you would just want to be there to share troubles but its sounds like its making you feel a bit crap and undermining your confidence in the other person.If at this early stage there are problems and you feel like this when it should be all hearts and flowers and passion and not being able to leave each other alone then it seems a bit daft to continue.... it shouldn't be this hard right now ,,

That makes a lot of sense Sally (great username btw!).

I think you're right and I do keep having the thought that it should be fun and easy and not making me doubt myself.

It's the first time I've dipped my toe back in the dating water in a very long time. I think it's shown me I would like a relationship but sadly this might not be the right guy.

Getting back into dating is so hard...been there done that!!! I always think if it is ok you should kind of be excited about wanting to get to know the person and you will also pick up quickly how keen they are to get to know you...don;t settle! You might have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince or in my case 1001 frogs but you you will know when its going right! Good luck...don;t ever settle for mediocre though you are worth more than that!

Totally agree with Sally! You deserve to be happy, don't settle for less than that - ESPECIALLY if it's a new relationship, think passion, holidays, romance, late night saucy texts, not being able to wait until you see each other again etc.

Good luck on your happiness.

Thank you both. You've made me feel,a bit testy tbh. It just reinforces that things really aren't right.

I'd be happy to support him if he's having a tough time if the connection was still there. Sadly though I think it might be gone - he is really distant with me now and I don't feel that sense of excitement in getting to know each other.

teary not testy fgs

And name change fail! I'll get my coat ...

I think its just fizzing out and he’s not for you. Plenty more fish in the sea. Thats why we date to find the right one..