What is this??

[lbeasly74]

Anytime I have a fall out with my other half (who is an aviodant person) I can't tolerate it and end up sending desperate text messages or ringing lots of times,I literally feel desperate. Even if it's not my fault. Is this an issue for therapy? It's at the detriment to myself

Yes, you could address this in therapy. It's fear of abandonment.

I know from my own experience, this behaviour doesn't help relationships or help resolve conflict, as it makes one seem desperate and lessens our worth in the person's eyes, and in our own eyes.

One thing my therapist did suggest which has been helpful, is don't send someone a message/get in touch a 2nd time, wait till they've texted you back. That way, you know the relationship is reciprocal and the other person also values you.

It's a Borderline trait www.nhs.uk/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms/

Interestedwoman- I think I might look into that with therapy,i know my mum was an avoidant person but my dad was more like me. It just makes me miserable and there are a whole load of other anxious thoughts "they don't care about me...they didn't respond straight away to a message they meant love me like I love them" I know it's sounds nuts!

When I was in a relationship with someone who offered reassurance (basically a securely attached person) I didn't have this problem