I've been married to my husband for 3 and a half years, together for over 7. We have 2 children - although my eldest isnt biologically his but hes been around for almost his whole life so is a big father figure to him.
I think he is emotionally abusive. He also cheated on me a lot last year for a period of 6 months. He confessed to one but I kept finding out more and when things came to a head the last time I found out more, he was 'suicidal' so I stayed.
I love him so very much and I desperately have wanted things to work for us and for our children but they're just not. I've been unhappy for so long and I just dont think he is ever going to love me in the right way.
My problem now is that I have no income, I'm a stay at home mum. The house we are in is rented and I could not afford it on housing benefit - infact I dont think the landlord would want me here on my own with housing benefit anyway.
Where do I start here? I dont want to disrupt my childrens lives too much, but I also want them to live in a home where there isnt so much unhappiness.
I have no money. I could probably borrow money from my parents for a deposit but it's so hard to find anywhere at all that will accept DSS.
Also, I'm afraid. Afraid of losing him still and afraid of starting all over again on my own with 2 children. I'm afraid he will use his usual tactics to convince me to stay and things will get worse.