Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I want to leave but dont know how.

2 replies

Glorianaz · 02/11/2019 15:06

I've been married to my husband for 3 and a half years, together for over 7. We have 2 children - although my eldest isnt biologically his but hes been around for almost his whole life so is a big father figure to him.
I think he is emotionally abusive. He also cheated on me a lot last year for a period of 6 months. He confessed to one but I kept finding out more and when things came to a head the last time I found out more, he was 'suicidal' so I stayed.
I love him so very much and I desperately have wanted things to work for us and for our children but they're just not. I've been unhappy for so long and I just dont think he is ever going to love me in the right way.
My problem now is that I have no income, I'm a stay at home mum. The house we are in is rented and I could not afford it on housing benefit - infact I dont think the landlord would want me here on my own with housing benefit anyway.
Where do I start here? I dont want to disrupt my childrens lives too much, but I also want them to live in a home where there isnt so much unhappiness.
I have no money. I could probably borrow money from my parents for a deposit but it's so hard to find anywhere at all that will accept DSS.
Also, I'm afraid. Afraid of losing him still and afraid of starting all over again on my own with 2 children. I'm afraid he will use his usual tactics to convince me to stay and things will get worse.

OP posts:
Startingoveragain1 · 02/11/2019 16:23

You need a job so youre only needing a top up of benefits, there are landlords that will take u that way (they took me) . You do need to start thinking about the future as for what you say your relationship at home is not happy and wont be. He is not the man that can give you the things you need: love, support and respect. Moving on and the thought of breaking the family is very difficult but ull be glad you did it. You could start planning and looking so youre not rushing into the unkown. Then youll just have t0 take the plunge. Being alone in itself will be better than being with an abusive cheating twat. Youll find urself again.

Glorianaz · 02/11/2019 16:54

My youngest is 18 months and I cant imagine how i would manage a job and childcare for her as well as negotiating school runs. Sorry if i sound stupid i just want to be prepared so i dont go back to him.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread