Is this strange?!

[mummyoftwo5]

I went to my parents for an evening meal and drinks for my sisters birthday last night. My partner stayed at home with our two girls, 7 and 2. The 2 year old does wake up however will settle for him however he kept messaging from 10pm asking when will you be back and as I was getting a lift it was around 12:30 before I could get home. He called before I left asking if I was even at my parents?! Not sure where else I would be 🤔To give some context, I haven't been out in the evening without him apart from to go to work for years. When I have been out in the past, similar has happened. It feels like he doesn't trust me? Is this strange? I thought that it might be different and I do feel slightly trapped by it all as want to see friends/family. I think if I had the kids with me then there wouldn't be an issue.

Good boundaries are the same whether or not you are in an abusive relationship or a supportive relationship.

It's strange isn't I work with people in abusive relationships but don't always recognise things in my own life

You don't necessarily have to decide it is full on abusive and you need to LTB just to tighten up your boundaries.

Think of it as the marriage version of the "broken windows policy" of crime management. When you police the little things properly then the big things often don't start. His insecurities are his problem and he needs to learn to manage them. That happens by them bouncing off your boundaries and back onto him to catch.

What @Thingsdogetbetter has said is a gem of a post. Read it and re read it.

Ah thank you all, some really good points here and I'm going to talk to him shortly and put those boundaries in place and putting the responsibility back to him to manage his behaviour. Part of it I guess is recognising when and how to be assertive, something I've never been brilliant at (though can do this well at work) Just got to get the kids to bed first, no easy feat!