Not happy in relationship

[Jackjack123]

First time on here, basically I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years, we have a 6 year old son and I have an 11 year old daughter, I’ve tried so hard to make it work for the kids but I just don’t think I’m in love with him, I care for him dearly and he is so good to me and the children, I just don’t know what to do anymore, do I stay with him for the kids and him or do I end it, so so confused 😓

Hi Jackjack123, we're just giving your thread a bump to get it back into Active Conversations. Hopefully some Mumsnetters will be along soon with some advice and support.

You don't need to make any decisions right now but knowledge is power. Have you found out about life as a single parent? Leaving can feel overwhelming, and you sound overwhelmed, but you don't need to do everything right now.

There is an organisation called Gingerbread who have advisers for single parents such as benefits, childcare, getting back to work etc It might be an idea to have a cup of tea and browse their website. the CABx also have a lot of information on their website with links to lots of helpful organisations.

Nobody can answer that apart from you OP but 5 years ago I could have written this post myself.

I'd been with my husband since I was 19 (I'm now 37) and while things were 'ok' and I cared for him, I couldn't say I loved him. We have 2 DC's who, at the time, were 5 and 2. I couldn't bring myself to sleep with him, there was little affection and I just felt so overwhelmed when I thought of the life I had ahead of me.
I made the decision to end things. It wasn't easy, I hated the thought that I was ripping my family apart for my own selfish reasons but I'd become distant as a mum as well as a wife.
We're 4 years post divorce now. We co parent really well, he gets re-married next year and we've remained very amicable. My kids have adapted well, they are happy and doing well in school.
I'm with someone else now in a relationship that I feel properly happy in.

My advice would be to do what's right for you ultimately. I feel like a better mum now than I was then.

Whatever you decide I wish you all the best

Thank you 12345kbm, yes I am extremely overwhelmed at the moment, definitely not in a good place, the house is in my name so thankfully wouldn’t have to move with the children, I’m just so scared of what it will do to them but I know that I can’t live like this for much longer, I’m so unhappy and stressed

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know what a huge change that is and how frightening that feels. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Life is so much easier when we take it one step at a time. You've had a long think and decided you can't continue like this and that's a huge step. Just take your time. Is there anyone you can talk to? A friend or relative? If not, perhaps some counselling would be helpful in order to support you through this. You're going to be ok you know. You'll get through this and you're a great mum.