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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel such a fool

5 replies

Imaceleb · 01/11/2019 17:45

Not sure what response I want to this post but just want to unload my thoughts and feelings. I’m 43 and ex DPis 37. I have 2 dc 23 and 22 from a previous marriage . We have no children together as he is infertile.

My 7 year relationship ended in April. It didn’t end well and I had asked him to move out when I found out he had been on dating sites and meeting other women while keeping me at arms length and making me feel guilty that everything was in my head
I thought I was over him til I saw him the other day with a new woman. She was everything I’m not - dark hair , younger than him etc.
And I immediately felt like I had the breath sucked out of me and burst into tears and turned and walked the other direction.
I was so over come with jealousy that hurt that I cried for the next two hours.

I’m not on FB or instagram as he would accuse me of stalking him on there when I saw him adding women and girls and calling him out. I deleted both my accounts and thought he had too as he knew I felt insecure about him doing this .

I rang my friend and she told me that she had looked him up on FB and he had a profile pic of them both together and his relationship status had changed. This is a new account of his.
I feel I’m being childish that he has moved on so quickly as I had hoped that we might still be able to work things out . I feel so pathetic and foolish for having these thoughts as he had obviously detached himself from our relationship long before we finished and that he was obviously pushing me to end things rather than have the balls to do it himself.
I feel worse now then I did in April. Is this normal ?has anyone else been through this ?

OP posts:
RLEOM · 01/11/2019 20:08

Yes, it's heartbreaking when they get with someone new so soon. Seeing pictures of them together tears you apart. I'm sorry you're going through this but it will get better. I can't say when but it will. You've just got to ride the emotions and replace old memories with new ones.

Struggles123 · 01/11/2019 20:54

He will likely cheat on her too. Think about the possibility you have now, of meeting a wonderful man who loves you and would stay faithful to you x

antonsteeth · 01/11/2019 20:57

He will likely cheat on her too. Think about the possibility you have now, of meeting a wonderful man who loves you and would stay faithful to you x

This.

It will get easier OP Thanks

Startingoveragain1 · 01/11/2019 21:50

He will cheat again. That will be somebody elses problem now.... younger girl.... does she have kids? If not once she knows he is infertile and a cheat he will be out the door .You're still dealing with issues from the separation and still grieving. Dont confuse those feelings with feelings of wanting him back. What u want deep down is not him: you want the man u thought he was gonna be, a man that loves y and respects you and puts u first (Thats not that dude) hold on in there, feel the hurt and let it pass. You have better things coming.

Imaceleb · 03/11/2019 22:20

Thanks for the replies Smile
She has 2 young daughters 8 and 6... yes I admit to Checking out her FB Blush
She hits all his criteria ... dark hair , newly divorced, too good for him Hmm
I think she looks nice and too intelligent to be fooled by him but then I and all the others did Angry
He will have told her is infertile as soon as he met her as he used to do this with the others he ‘talked’ to on the dating sites ! His way of being ‘honest’ Shock
My friend told me he has recently rented a flat close to where I live...
After reading through threads on here it seems he may be a narcissist or at least have some of these traits.
I can only hope she either breaks his heart or he moves in with her so that I can help to get over him.

OP posts:
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