Newly pregnant, just found out partner cheated

[Redrum2009]

i found out I am pregnant then not long after found that my boyfriend had slept with his ex behind my back (very recently) he’s saying he wants nothing to do with the baby (he has 4 kids) I’m so utterly torn as to what to do going forward, I already have a 10 yr old to another relationship. Has anyone else been in this situation? He wants us to work things out but not with a baby in tow, but I feel I terminate the pregnancy and we end for good regardless. My head is mashed and I’m struggling to make any decisions right now how can I raise a baby alone?

He has 4 kids already, I bet by various Mums too. You will be just another CM reference number.

^He sounds like such a catch. Ditch him

@Loveeachday thanks so much for your reply... do you mind me asking how did you come to the decision to terminate? And will you not resent this man ultimately for forcing you to go through with this?

oh dear he's a shit. Do what's right for you and your daughter. But assume you're going to do it alone - he's the opposite of reliable (and why would you want to be involved with him if he cheated anyway)?

He doesn't sound the best choice tbh. Do you really want to be attached to him for ever?

I don’t know what the future holds for us a couple

will you not resent this man ultimately for forcing you to go through with this

In your head you've taken him back. He's a long term bet in your head. Your head is wrong. Why?

Is it because you are OK with open relationships.

Or you think men in realtionships sleeping around is normal?

Or have you told yourself he won't cheat again? Why? It was a one off? His ex made him do it? You drove him to it somehow?

What are you telling yourself?

@Redrum2009 sorry for the delay in replying. I hope things have been a little easier for you lately. I’m booked in for the abortion next week (I’ve found out that an illness of mine that went into remission has flared up so the clinic had to cancel my abortion that was booked for last week as I’m now high risk and refer me to a mainstream hospital). I don’t think I’d resent him for not wanting the baby, I’m 95% sure that I don’t want it either. I think the thing I’m struggling with is his lack of emotional support and lack of understanding plus he keeps telling me it’s my fault that I’m pregnant so I’m to blame for all the stress and hassle. This last week has been one of the most stressful of my life and I’m really struggling to juggle the whole mum to two kids, two jobs, running a house, feeling poorly from my illness and being pregnant while having a partner that isn’t coping at all with the pregnancy and is behaving a lot of the time like someone I don’t know...we’re falling apart and it’s breaking me

@Loveeachday I’m sorry you’ve been having such a tough time lately with all that on your plate. If it’s the right decision for you then I wish you all the luck and strength to get through the difficult weeks ahead and hope your relationship changes for the better.
I’ve decided to keep the baby. He moved out, we haven’t spoken much, I haven’t told him my final decision yet but he’s made it clear I’m on my own if i continue with the pregnancy so I guess there’s not a lot to talk about. I’m really struggling with the whole thing still, I love him and miss him so much but this baby and my daughter have given me strength to carry on. My mental health has rapidly deteriorated since finding out this whole mess and I just don’t think I’d be strong enough to deal with a termination.
Best of luck to you x

@redrum2009 I’m so sorry that he’s actually gone through with his threat and left, I think you’re incredibly strong for carrying on. I fully understand why you feel your mental health has deteriorated, to see the person you love walk away from you and show you they maybe don’t care about you as much as you thought is absolutely heart breaking! I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for and your daughter and your new baby when he or she arrives will give you more love and joy than any half hearted man ever could x

Good riddance, OP. You cannot live your best life with him. He is a liar and a cheat, and you wouldn’t want to be constantly unsettled about him. This way, you can focus on empowering your life with your two children without the drain of an untrustworthy man.

@Loveeachday thank you. I don’t feel very strong right now haha. Good luck for next week and the new chapter in your life x

@MsDogLady my head is definitely over ruling my heart at the minute and you’re 100% right, I wouldn’t be the same girl I was if I stayed with him, it’d slowly eat me away.