Literally just wanting to have a safe moan about SIL. DH is one of 3-2 older boys and 1 younger girl.
The 2 boys are a little dependent on my inlaws, although DH is much better. SIL in my eyes, is pathetic. This has been caused by my over-meddling inlaws I've no doubt who have never allowed her to grow up, but at 35 years old, she is still so dependent.
I am 4 years younger than SIL and have 2 high needs kids and still, DH and I entertain his family most of the time whilst SIL will just clear away a few dishes if we're lucky. We help MIL with cooking/cleaning/preparing if she is hosting and SIL just sits around being waited on and always places her order in with MIL on what she's expecting to eat beforehand. She never offers to provide any of the cooking or stays to clean afterwards and FIL excuses her all the time; she is also always the first to be served her meal at any family gathering at their home.
She goes through phases of being a brilliant aunt to my kids, to disappearing for a few weeks because she is socialising abroad or feeling too low to see people. This had led to her cancelling the very odd playdate with my kids in the past, although she always got my inlaws to call us and cancel for her.
On the rare occasion that SIL hosts an occasion at her house, we all get rounded up by MIL on what we need to contribute to help SIL out.
The more I see, the more I'm losing patience with the whole set-up around SIL, particularly when DH and I juggle so much.
My parents gave me a lot of independence growing up (perhaps too much) and they never would have treated me the way SIL gets treated when I was in my teens, let alone mid-thirties.
Of course, I wish my parents had been half as helpful and caring towards me and there is possibly a twang of jealousy, but I am losing my patience. I don't want to suddenly release all of my pent-up feelings at DH so just need a safe place to rant rather than to find a solution.
Anyone experiencing anything similar?