Married 18 years but worried about the future

[Blackblackblue]

So even though I'm married a long time
My kids are very young so leaving isn't an option.

This is hard to admit and really embarrassing but our sex life is awful and always has been.

Since I told him how I've been feeling he has been unable to maintain an erection.. I sort of wish I hadn't said anything as at least then one of us would be having orgasms.

Has anyone any advice for making a relationship work where it feels like living with a sibling.?

I just feel sad that life is so short and neither of us are truly happy

Sounds like you were not tactful when you raised it with him, don't just say it's awful, you need to suggest why it's awful and how it could be improved. If this has gone on for a long time it may be hard to change - to start with I think you should wait at least twice as long a second you normally would before coming on to him again - if he has gone without for a long time he should be more horny and find it easier to maintain an erection. That will do something to deal with his performance anxiety and then you can move on to discuss what is wrong and how to improve things. It sounds as though you may not be sexually compatible, you need to try to find a compromise between your desires.

Awful in what way?

Tell him you're sad that trying to be more open has hurt him and made things worse? That you want to love him?

Maybe just start by trying to rebuild intimacy, lying together naked and talking regularly?