New dp And me not wanting to invite him over for Christmas.

[Lovemusic33]

It’s more of a AIBU.

Been seeing each other for 5/6 months, haven’t introduced him to the kids. He keeps moaning about how rubbish Christmas is going to be this year as he isn’t seeing his kids (his ex wants to take it turns having them for Christmas and has decided this year she’s having them), he keeps on about how he might just go away somewhere so he doesn’t have to celebrate it and is being pretty down about it all. I understand he’s upset about not seeing his kids but he has close family and will see his kids Boxing Day and sees them quite a bit. Part of me feels sorry for him and wants to invite him to mine but the other part of me doesn’t want someone being grumpy and depressed al day when I’m trying to enjoy the day with my kids. Christmas is already a tough time for me as it holds bad memories but I try and make it fun for the people around me (mainly the kids).

AIBU not inviting him over and to let him go off on his own in a sulk?

I kind of feel like I don’t mean much to him as he hasn’t even mentioned me being a part of his Christmas or new year, keeps moaning that next year will be just as rubbish as next year so obviously I haven’t made much difference in his life.

You have to think of you and your kids first. He's a grown man, he needs to sort himself out.

No not unreasonable, I've been dating for 5 months and have met her kids a few times and definitely wouldn't expect or encourage a Christmas invite.
His and your Christmas arrangements sound perfectly normal. I've told my ex that she can have Christmas Day's if that's what she wants and I'll have Boxing Day's. Even though I see him 3x a week he lives with his mum not me, so imo she should be spending the day with him unless either of them want to do different. Only seems fair to me.

OP, I had one just like him, in the end though, it’s just not worth it as he’ll make you miserable too.

There are plenty of great men out there and by sticking with him, you're missing out on them.

Chuck him back OP, miserable cunt, what is he about moaning at you in a new relationship - imagine him groaning and moaning non stop in five years. Do yourself a favour and fuck him right off.

'Maybe he was a grumpy twat with her too and she finally had enough ' . I think you've hit the nail on the head there Op.

I was in a shortish relationship and the guy was hinting to spend Christmas at mine as otherwise he was going to spend it in a caravan with his mate.

I started to feel guilty so invited him then his mother told me he had been invited to Christmas lunch with all his family but had declined (up to him) so then I didn’t feel so bad at ending it completely and feeling very relieved.

Dump!

After only a few months - when people usually try to show themselves in a good light - he’s moany and negative. He’s clearly shown you what he’s like, and it’s not good.

The positives you list are a v low bar.

Has he even asked YOU how you find Christmas?

good points: sex - others or masturbation could cover this!
he's not likely to run off with anyone else - basic
he treats me ok - except when he’s spending your time together moaning about his issues.

He’s just having a moan and trying for sympathy, he’s seeing them Boxing Day ffs.
Tell him you have made plans for the day and let him sort himself out.

Uponreflection I’m pretty sure that’s the situation, his mum would have invited him, he spends most of his time there anyway.

I saw him yesterday and he was moaning about several things, I told him maybe he should stop focusing on the rubbish things in his life and focus on the good things (things he has) because being miserable is no fun. He moans about work, he moans about not seeing his kids, he moans when he has his kids (they are typical teens), he moans about Christmas and moans about being on his own. His behaviour at the moment indicates that he may be bi polar (quite irrational behaviour, changing his mind a lot, has big ideas that are not doable). I’m not sure I will stick around for long. I will make my own plan for Christmas,