Hi everyone, i am a bit sensitive atm so please be nice.
I were with my partner for 5 years and all in and all we were happy, but i discovered he had an addiction to sexting. Apparently he always had it, his mates said they thought hed completely changed after meeting me, and so they didnt bother to mention anything to me or 'warn' me as such. When i found out it was awful, he felt awful, and once i had calmed down, i wanted to speak to him calmly about it. He were very honest, and said he genuinely has no idea why he does it, he said he views it like hes watching porn, it doesnt feel 'real' to him. Its just people on a screen. Thing is, i know he is so insecure of himself in real life, i couldnt see him sleeping with another woman. Took us a while to get intimate due to his insecurities. The whole sexting must have been an ego boost behind a screen i suppose.
Anyway, we broke up and i had no contact with him for 5 months, but i ended up taking him back. I just love him so much. When i broke it off, i said maybe if one day i met him again somewhere and he were a completely different person and had got help for himself, then maybe we could start things again. And i said for him to respect me and leave me alone and do not dare try to message me for me back when we break up. And he did respect that. I went on a few dates etc and had offers.. but i just were not interested unless they were him.
But anyway after the 5 months, i went through a tragedy at home and just needed him, it made me reflect hard on life and the people we love, and i ended up messaging him myself, and taking him back.
I couldnt believe it speaking to him, genuinely felt like i were talking to a different man.. even things like swearing? Swearing was in every sentence he spoke, he knew i didnt like it, and he has stopped, he doesnt even slip. I genuinely do believe he has been listening to the help and is genuinely on the road for change.
I just wanted the wise words of mumsnet for some advice i guess. I do have major trust issues still, i dont think i'll ever truly trust him because of the huge secret he were keeping from me. But in my heart i feel like it is worth getting help and trying to make this work because we are so good together. I know hes looking at rings, i know he will propose any day now, and i wanted to maybe see if anyone had any positive experiences where they went for it, and things worked out? If you worked on things and did truly find happiness in the relationship? I know i'll probably have responses saying to run from him, but ive already had all that in other thread when it all originally happened. Maybe just responses from people that understand and have been in a similar situation maybe. Thanks :)