Cost of a child arrangement order?

[Herja]

Ex and I have reached an impasse. For the past 18 months, we have shared care of out 2 DC. Approximately 60/40, with me having them the 60 (week 1, I have them 5 days, week 2, 3 days. On rotation).

He has requested 50/50 instead (5:2, 2:5). I have refused this. The children complain enough about time with him as it is - though I'm sure they're fine when they're there! On the week where it's his weekend, I regularly have to carry DD to his car while she sobs as she won't leave the house to go. Additionally, they have an extra curricular on one of the days he wants to change.

So, we have reached stalemate. Mediation will be arranged shortly, but it's pretty much just a pre court formality I think. Neither of us are willing to back down, and as it's 60/40 anyway, there's not really negotiating room.

How much is it likely to cost to get a child arrangement order sorted? I am skint, but will beg, borrow and steal to get one if necessary. If you self rep'd, how much did you spend on legal advice? And if it was all handled by solicitors and barristers, how much was that?

Ex is controlling. It will not be a short argument. I have generally given in to him on all his requests for an easy life for us all, but not this time.

To be clear, I have always encouraged the children that seeing him is a good thing. Even when DD is crying about leaving I slap on a smile and jolly her along. Current contact arrangement has been in place since he FINALLY moved out.

I think it’s £210 for the order, you have to go to mediation first though

First time I went to court my ex summonsed me.

We did mediation, but due to domestic abuse I just did the MIAM meeting (which is the first one and I refused to do anymore)

My solicitor cost £3K but that was for him to represent me in court plus a shit load of letters sent prior to the hearing.

Child arrangements order agreed, and drawn up on one day.

A year later, I took my ex back to court for a variation of the order as it wasn't working and he refused to co-operate,

Cost me £215 to submit my application and I self represented. Judge ruled in my favour too.

I would advise anyone to represent themselves in family court. From my experience, both parties are treated fairly whether represented or not (he was) and it's more important to save your money for living life with your children.

How old are the children? How long has current arrangements been working?

As you say mediation first and if this fails let your Ex apply to court so he pays the fee. When you get the first court date it is likely that a judge would order Cafcass report. At the first hearing you could choose to self rep and just take advice from a solicitor beforehand. They charge by the hour so assume several hours.

The dc ages will be the most important factor here however ultimately what Cafcass recommends is usually the decider for the judge.

DC are 5 and 7.

They're meant to be back now. They're not and he's not answering the phone.

Make sure you carefully document the present arrangements, how they were arrived at and how they have worked. Get things rolling, it doesn't seem to be working.

No, it doesn't at all. DC are back with me now . I will start the ball rolling with mediation tomorrow.

I’m in exactly the same situation as you. It’s very tough and I will be applying for an order this week.

Dealing with bullies is hard enough but when your children are involved it’s pretty devastating. Can’t offer much by my sympathy.

It’s going to massively depend on how quickly you agree
You will have the first hearing and then probably a cafcass report recommended then you have a dispute resolution hearing that looks at report of either of you doesn’t agree to their suggestions / recommendations then you will end up at a final hearing where the judge decides if you still haven’t agreed together.
If you have a solicitor represent you and you have to go through all three hearings then you are probably looking at several thousand
My solicitor is £250 an hour and the first hearing is probably two hours and the last is a full day plus all the emails on between
You could be entitled to legal aid I guess I don’t know how that works or you could self represent Which would massively reduce the costs but obviously you don’t have their expertise . My solicitor knew what I could ask for and recommended what to agree to in the meantime etc.
I’ve paid close to £10k but that includes divorce costs but they are a smaller portion of that than the contact representation.

Hope that helps, it’s been a long journey for me and an expensive one but worth it in the long run.