Backstory, backstory, backstory... 20 years together, 2 Primary school aged DDs. A few marital blips and a near breakup a few years back.
I've just had a repeat of a conversation we've had before (and argued about). He's working away (he does this a lot, it's an industry where this is the norm). I'm going away on Thursday for 2 nights, this is more a personal development thing - a seminar on something I'm interested in. It's the first time I've been away like this in years, and I think my mother watched the DDs for me as he was at work that time.
DDs want to go trick-or-treating while I'm away and I was talking with him about it tonight to get his input on the plans the DDs want to make. I can't make all the arrangements as I won't be here. Also I wouldn't take them out myself - he said they could go.
He asked if they had costumes and I think I do, but said he could always help sort that rather than leave it to me. He just said that he works away and earns the money and as a housewife I should be doing all that (whinge about the house being a mess - it is but we've both been studying. I've just finished a MA this month). I just asked him to do one bloody task by himself.
He's said this SAHP shit before and I've gone batshit. I got a job a couple of years ago and he spent weeks whinging about it and made me miserable. I make a small income from an Etsy shop, and I have a rental property so it's not like I bring in nothing. He works away a lot - at one point for 9 weeks straight over the early part of the summer so I do a lot of solo parenting, and all the work on those weeks. It's limited my career options. I feel he doesn't appreciate the solo effort because he never, ever has to do anything by himself.
I'm beginning to think I might be happier as a single parent. I'm perimenopausal and can't be arsed with his attitude any longer. It would be ghastly to split, and we've always been stronger as a couple. There are good things about our relationship but tonight I feel the rage yet again.
I'm so angry.