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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting back into the swing of things

2 replies

aufaitaccompli · 29/10/2019 16:27

Hi to anyone reading this!

Quick background is sexless marriage ended 4 years ago. I have felt very gross and unattractive for a VERY long time (about 12 years)

My confidence took a pounding during my marriage (unlike me, pun intended) to the point where I was so grateful for attention I came quite close to shagging someone unavailable (AFTER the marriage ended)

I dated on and off, permanently shitting myself that no one could possibly like me. I'd ignore interest from semi-attractive guys, in the assumption they were more likely to be choosy/get the gorgeous, confident women.

So here I am. 43, trying to lose weight (not very well) and looking to try again.

In my heart of hearts I know I'd make a high quality partner but am finding it really difficult to meet guys. I seem to be popular enough but never ever get asked out. I get a lot of 2nd glances from guys. I assume it's because I make their stomachs heave.

So sorry this sounds pathetic. I don't know what to do. I fear I'll never feel worthy. I wouldn't know if anyone fancied me anyway.

I feel so silly writing this but it's a big gap in my life, I married a shithead, have worked out my reasons for doing so and worked really hard on myself to be more assertive.

What else can I do? (aannnd breathe....)

OP posts:
aufaitaccompli · 29/10/2019 20:31

Bump? Anyone able to help? Feel v stuck.

Maybe losing weight would be the panacea, and I'd suddenly be more attractive and potentially be dating material

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 29/10/2019 22:29

Hair, makeup, clothes, and just get out there online dating. Don't take it too seriously.

The weight loss will be helped along with some living of life and a confidence boost. Don't waste time "studying" for life, the grade you give yourself will never be high enough to graduate. Just get out and do it. Flowers

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