Hi to anyone reading this!
Quick background is sexless marriage ended 4 years ago. I have felt very gross and unattractive for a VERY long time (about 12 years)
My confidence took a pounding during my marriage (unlike me, pun intended) to the point where I was so grateful for attention I came quite close to shagging someone unavailable (AFTER the marriage ended)
I dated on and off, permanently shitting myself that no one could possibly like me. I'd ignore interest from semi-attractive guys, in the assumption they were more likely to be choosy/get the gorgeous, confident women.
So here I am. 43, trying to lose weight (not very well) and looking to try again.
In my heart of hearts I know I'd make a high quality partner but am finding it really difficult to meet guys. I seem to be popular enough but never ever get asked out. I get a lot of 2nd glances from guys. I assume it's because I make their stomachs heave.
So sorry this sounds pathetic. I don't know what to do. I fear I'll never feel worthy. I wouldn't know if anyone fancied me anyway.
I feel so silly writing this but it's a big gap in my life, I married a shithead, have worked out my reasons for doing so and worked really hard on myself to be more assertive.
What else can I do? (aannnd breathe....)