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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I feel so alone

16 replies

Sallyseagull · 29/10/2019 16:16

When I'm home alone, or just myself and my 19 month old, I feel so alone. I dont know what to do with myself to the point I pace up and down my house just so I've got something to do, i feel like I'm making myself a nuisance to my friends by always texting them when they have their own lives to lead.

My friends have been good but they have commitments so cant be with me 100% of the time. This is just so new, fresh and raw that I'm so fucking sad and lonely.

OP posts:

youareasyoungasyoufeel · 29/10/2019 16:19

Aren't u doing stuff with your baby and taking them out places etc?

Original poster

Sallyseagull · 29/10/2019 16:21

Yes, I have been keeping his routine as much as possible and playing with him at home but then when hes napping or sleeping the sadness and loneliness kicks in again.

OP posts:

NoFun21 · 29/10/2019 16:24

Do you have a children’s centre near you? How about a local church - you don’t have to be religious but there can be coffee mornings and playgroups and the people can be very kind.

Original poster

Sallyseagull · 29/10/2019 16:25

I do but because his father has moved out suddenly in trying to keep things as normal for our son as possible so that means keeping his nap times and having him in his own bed.

I dont know what the point of the post was tbh.

OP posts:

NoFun21 · 29/10/2019 16:27

And please don’t feel alone- you’re not the only one feeling alone with young children- many are. You need to reach out and tell others how you’re feeling.

FranneKipankinstein · 29/10/2019 16:28

Do you have family nearby ?
Are you keeping well yourself ? Is there someone at your GP practice you can talk to ?

Is it because the father has gone ?

NoFun21 · 29/10/2019 16:28

I understand but you can get depressed staying inside too much - don’t worry about disorienting him- get yourself out and get him sleeping in the buggy whilst you have a chat at a stay and play or whatever. The people at the children’s centres can also advise on how to help limit disruption for him.

hellsbellsmelons · 29/10/2019 16:30

Do you work OP?
Have you worked since having DC?
I honestly had to get back to some adult time when my DD was 3 months old.
I'm so sorry your your partner has moved out.
You do need to keep busy.
Do you have any family support around you.
It's far more important for your DC to have a happy mum in a different environment than for you to keep doing this to yourself.

Dawninglory · 29/10/2019 16:33

I understand OP, ExH left when DS was 4mths, it is so lonely took me 18mths to find my feet. Friends either working or their own family to see to. My own family lived 260miles away, it was tough but keep to your routine, join as many baby groups as you can, go to the park, busy your days and the evening becomes your time to relax.

fotheringhay · 29/10/2019 17:01

I'm feeling very alone too OP. XH + OW have taken the dc on holiday for 8 days

We feel alone but there are countless other mums in similar circumstances. So we're kind of not alone really... kind of... ok that's not very comforting is it!

Original poster

Sallyseagull · 30/10/2019 14:59

I dont have family nearby but they have been to visit since we split.

I don't work, as I was/am a stay at home parent because that's what we as a couple had decided was best. I will need to find myself a job now but that is easier said than done and also I'm concerned that being in the wrong frame of mind will go against me when applying for jobs or even starting one.

OP posts:

FranneKipankinstein · 30/10/2019 15:01

That's good they have been to visit . What have you been doing today?

Original poster

Sallyseagull · 30/10/2019 15:19

We had a lazy morning, played at home then popped to the shops to have a mooch round. Came home for lunch, a short play at home and son is napping now.

I've arranged to have someone with my son tonight so I'm going to meet a couple of friends for a drink or two tonight.

OP posts:

rvby · 30/10/2019 15:23

I get you OP.

What saved me was taking up a creative hobby at home. Later, online courses in whatever subjects interested me. I'm still doing those and on my way to a degree now.

Work will really help. It'll get better. I'm sorry though, I know how shit this stage is. Glad you are going out later x

FranneKipankinstein · 30/10/2019 15:43

That's good you are going out with friends tonight.
How are you feeling today?

ineedsleep456 · 30/10/2019 15:54

I understand too OP. I have a DD2 and am heavily pregnant. I don't drive so can't get out much. We have a playgroup that we can walk to on Fridays and I usually visit family once or twice a week. But I still feel very lonely. I'm not a homely person I use to go out all the time. I find it too hard work at the minute on the bus as DD won't stay in her pram and likes to run off. So a lot of my days I'm in the house and garden with her. I find it hard to tell people as I feel they think i regret/don't appreciate having DD. Which is not the case at all I love my DD more than anything I'm just lonely.

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