Broken up after 6 years- advice for someone who’s never gone through a break up before please

[Verve123]

This is my first time posting on here, so apologies if I do anything wrong.

A summary is: My boyfriend and I have just broken up after 6 (ish) years because he’s just not sure enough that he wants children in the future. We’ve been so so happy apart from this one issue so we’ve been loathe to break up before now in case it’s a mistake.

Some background: he’s 25 and I’m about to be. We got together in sixth form and were committed throughout uni and my masters (we went to different unis). At the moment we’re back in our hometown sharing a house with some friends. We both work at my family’s business- my parents and uncle work there, and recently my boyfriend’s mum and her partner (who is like dad number 3 to us). Obviously, we’re all close and only getting closer. My boyfriend and I were planning on going travelling next year and have booked flights. We started a little business project this summer and put money into it. Dad no.3 and my dad want to buy and do up a house together. My boyfriend’s lived with my parents and we’re supposed to spend Christmas in a rented cottage this year. Our lives and families are so intertwined that on top of everything else, I don’t know how to navigate it all.

I’ve never been through a break up, let alone one of this magnitude. He’s only been through a small teenage one. He’s been my everything, and I’m so so heartbroken to be ending a relationship that we both don’t want to end but feel we have to.

I’ve told a close friend who I’m meeting later today about it. Later after work (I haven’t gone in, he has) I said I’d tell my parents and stay with them tonight. I don’t know how to deal with any of this and really need some advice.

Firstly- are we breaking up for no good reason? How likely is it that a person can change their mind about having children after 25? His main concern is freedom.

Secondly- if it’s truly not meant to be, how do we begin to break up? Where do we start? We obviously can’t just break contact straight away. I have no clue at all about what’s good for me during/after a breakup.

Any advice and love would be so appreciated 💗

Move on, live your best life and have no contact with him.
At 25 not wanting children (yet) is quite normal.
Make the most of your freedom, you have worked hard for your qualifications, are in the best years of your life.
It will hurt but you are young, you are doing the right thing, and time will heal.
Very best of luck and have fun.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It all sounds terribly claustrophobic, aside from the issue of wanting children, and I wonder if that’s part of the issue for you both? He needs to extricate himself from your family’s business and home. It will be very painful at first but just had on to the fact that there WILL be a day in the future when this will be fixed, and all behind you.

I think you need to give each other space. I appreciate that’s going to be hard given the workplace and connections but if it’s amicable then you’ve just got to be honest and say you’ve both realised your long term goals don’t align.
It’s possible he may change his mind about the kids thing but it’s also possible he will stick to his guns.
Focus on you. Focus on being independent and on your own. Don’t rush into another relationship.

Yes sorry OP, I didn't read your post properly . Hard to go NC without a drastic change of lifestyle.

Maybe you could look for work away from your family business.