So sorry about the long explanation but here goes...
I have a friend of 25 years and we have truly been through hell together.
We both have children but our 17 year old daughters are friends-to some degree.
We live 15 miles apart. She's in central London and I'm much further out. She comes and stays at mine A LOT and I rarely go to hers.
We are both single, she's lesbian and I'm not.
A couple of weeks ago we arranged for us to go out for a drink in her local area and I would stay at hers.
Each time we have been out in the past (in her local area as my area is basically dead to the world) she has left me at a bar and gone home without saying anything so I've made my way back home. This time I thought, if that happens I'll go to my sisters who isn't far from her (I gave my sister the heads up just in case).
So we go out to a bar, order a drink and her eyes are either farting across the room or she was on her phone. I literally wave at her and say 'hello, I'm over here' and she laughed. We eventually decided to head to a different bar. We go to the bar grab a drink and take a seat. She then says that she's not leaving till she finds a 'bloke' and takes him home to which I respond well your kids are home and that's a bit grim. Anyway, again her eyes start farting across the room. My back was facing the bar so I couldn't see what or who was behind me. Eventually she calls a group of guys over, we all start chatting and I shift my chair to one guy who was actually very funny. I look over to her and she isn't engaging with anyone but leaning back in her chair with a pissed off expression. I lean over and ask her if she's ok. She responds immediately going to' I convinced her not to so she doesn't. She disappears for 5 minutes and comes back a different person excited and VERY talkative!
The bar closes so myself, my friend and two guys leave. At this point I have really hit it off with one of the guys and she thought she had with the other. She suggests to them we should all go back to the guys house I was talking to. I immediately respond with 'I'm not involved in no dodgy foursome!' The guy she was talking to legged it out of fear. We're on the street now. She realises and says you go back with him (the guy I was talking to) I originally said no but we agreed it was ok and I did. I paid for her cab for her to get home. Anyway, the next morning I went back to hers (7.30am), we're talking normally for a couple of hours she gets up and makes a coffee for herself I ask her for a cup of tea and she says no. I thought she was joking but she really wasn't. Bearing in mind when she's at mine she's treated like a queen!
Her daughter walks in at 9am and my friend starts slut shaming me in front of her daughter saying things like ' do you know where she was last night! She went home with a random guy! What a slag! She's a dirty stop out isn't she!' Then she said ' you should've seen them kissing I thought they were going to eat each other!' Now that would be funny to another adult but not her 17 year old daughter who is friends with mine!
Her daughter gets up to make coffee and I ask for a cup of tea, she responded with not sorry' and actually didn't make one.
At this point I'm so upset.
I explained to my friend that there are boundaries and that I felt she had crossed them. I don't appreciate my laundry being spilt in front of her daughter. What adults do shouldn't be shared with our kids. She says to me that her and her kids don't have those judgments and that I'm from the dark ages and I need to chill.
We had a whole day planned but I left and went home.
I have since explained it to her, the things she said and the lack of hospitality. She apologised but it wasn't because she acknowledged my feelings it was to just shut me up.
Me and this guys and seen each other and been on a couple of dates since and hitting it off really nicely and she isn't happy about it.
I'm so confused and hurt. I honestly was made to feel like dirt in so many ways, I don't even want to talk to her.
Please help and please refrain from being nasty. :(