Help me understand this “friend” please

[Tia3251]

Sorry another post about this “friend”( I changed my profile name for previous thread as didn’t want to use my name). I promise this will be the last time I post about her. I’m an over thinker and I’ve bored family and non-mutual friends to death on the topic. I just need to understand this from another perspective, just need to analyse last time.

This friend I’ve known for 3 years, met at baby club. Met up every so often not regularly. Kids started reception class and she was really excited as they will be “best friends”! I did think it was slightly odd as the girls hadn’t seen each other for I think a year.
She texted me on 2nd day really upset saying my kid won’t be best friends with hers. I did speak to my daughter but she had no idea who this girl even was! Anyways u can imagine next few weeks so won’t write every detail here but try to imagine!

Things kicked off at a kids party where she had a go at me for ignoring her and always running off and blanking her. I obviously did no such thing intentionally. Relevant point - there’s about 8 other mums from baby club days who have NOT behaved like her - sometimes we say hi other times rushing around.

In my head she’s a little crazy or maybe she thinks we’re closer than we actually are. I’ve never invited her to my daughters subsequent birthdays (she came to 1st) so I don’t feel I’ve “led her on” so why does she feel I owe her more than a quick hi how are u type of exchange. She sent me really abusive messages saying how did u not realise we had issues with each other and that I’ve never bothered with her kids! I’ve blocked her number now as can’t deal with the messages as it’s just so over and beyond what I was expecting from this year.

I don’t even know why I’m posting I just can’t get my head around it. I’m going baby clubs now with my new baby so I’m a little scared of making same mistakes with new potential friends. Some people have said she sounds very clingy. But she wasn’t like this before, as I said we probably met up like 3 times a year when everyone went back to work. She didn’t cling to me before so not sure what’s changed. I would have loved to have gotten close to her again but now I feel we can’t go back to being friends after her big scene at the party and nasty messages

My sisters think I’m giving it too much headspace but I just can’t understand how I’ve gotten myself in this awful situation.

I agree with your sister.
Let it go.

I also agree with your sister. You’ve blocked her, there is no reason to think anyone else you meet will be like her, so just try to enjoy your time with your children and forget about her.

Don't make her issues your issues. Very odd behaviour, she almost certainly has something else going on.

Thanks for the responses! It’s really awkward tho when I see her at school now. I’ve never had adult friendship “breakups” before lol! Will this awkwardness ever go away. I don’t even know if I should say hi to her anymore, I don’t think I should as I’ve blocked her on my phone. Gosh this is just really difficult! I know I’m making it more by thinking of it. But should I say hi or just drop kid off and be in my way

There are loads of strange people out there but we don't usually have to deal with them. Just move on. You're wasting too much time over this.

She texted me on 2nd day really upset saying my kid won’t be best friends with hers.

She sounds unhinged. What? They are 3 years old?!

People make their own friends, whether at 3 or 30.

her big scene at the party and nasty messages

Well, she certainly is NO friend of yours reading that. Give her a wide berth. You sound lovely. And don't let her undermine you, just keep her at arms length.

You don't need help to understand her behaviour. You don't need to, she's clearly a fruitcake. There is no point in trying to understand the reasoning behind someone else's behaviour - all you need to do is think about your own feelings on the matter and control those.

And in this case, least said soonest mended, pretend the whole thing never happened and treat her how you would a distant acquaintance that you don't like all that much, ie with indifference.

Ha! She sounds pretty loopy. Lifes hard enough without adding unnecessary head ache. I actually laughed reading she called u complaining ur kid wasnt being best friends with hers 🤣🤣🤣 tough shit. Those little children are their own little people and have their own little minds. Reminds me of some crazy parents ive had to deal with through the years. Not ur war, not ur problem!

Thank you so much everyone for the tips and encouragement. I know I haven’t done anything to make her behave like this.

Initially I thought if I had paid more attention to her and maybe texted her more often and just general chit chat, but I shouldn’t have to do that, I have to keep reminding myself! I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I think I need to toughen up and stop being scared of atmospheres that’s the lesson I need to take.

Obviously people have unrealistic expectations of people but it doesn’t mean I should feel guilty that I haven’t been the friend she wanted. Thank you again x