I've been feeling really differently about my partner recently and it turns out he feels the same way too. I get irritated so easily and there is no sexual chemistry between us at all. We had a chat tonight and we both just feel like we are doing so well in our separate lives but not well as a couple..
we've been together 4 years, no children, we rent a house together and we're both in our mid twenties. I had a really awful summer where I had to move out and look after a parent, who then died, and since coming back it feels like we've both been on our best behaviour but something just hasn't been right.. it's just that when I think of breaking up and him not being in my life anymore, it's such a shatteringly awful thing to think about – he's my best friend, he makes me laugh everyday, a compliment from him can have me feeling like I'm walking on air.. but then our life is so mundane – there's no flirting, no sexual tension, no chemistry.. my weight is really off-putting for him (I've gained 40 pounds since we met) and he has some deep-rooted mental health issues that he has refused to get help for and it's caused some resentment on my part.
we both got so, so upset tonight talking about whether this was the end or not, but we both agreed that we would hate to walk away from our relationship without knowing that we'd tried our absolute hardest.. so he's moving out. my logic is that it will give us time to both breathe and look after ourselves almost as if we were single – not putting each other first all the time but being selfish and thinking about what we want to do to improve our lives.
does this sound ridiculous? I have no idea what to do. neither does he. we're just gutted that it's gotten to this stage. we have planned a few "dates" for the next few weeks and we're going to keep in contact like a normal couple, but how do we fix us? please be kind.