How to start the ‘I’m not happy’ talk?

[UnderwearInfernoOfLies]

ive been with DP a long time and we have 2 primary aged kids. Over the past 2 years I realised how much of myself I have lost and concentrated on thing that we’re making me unhappy - weight, mental heath etc. The last piece of the puzzle is my relationship and I keep wimping out of starting a conversation as he’s more articulate than me, and many of my issues stem from his behaviour. How do I start the conversation? I hope he would work on our relationship, but I know if he doesn’t we should separate.

Do I just say I feel unhappy I’m the relationship? How do I address the behaviours he does that makes me unhappy eg telling lies (he doesn’t know all the lies I’ve caught him in and probably should have told him at the time).

I’m not being facetious but “I’m not happy” is the opener. If he’s decent, he’ll ask why and then the conversation can unfold.

It’s normal to feel anxious about big conversations but I have to say that you sound a bit afraid of him, which is worrying.

I think it's always better to start with what you would like to happen. Whether it's that you want to go to counselling with him, or you'd like him to commit to xyz.

Thanks both. I tried the I’m unhappy, there’s things I’d like to address. He’s come back to say that he doesn’t want to talk, we should just work our how to be happy and free - so that says it all I guess.

We rent, not married and split finances. Just need so get some advice on shared childcare and how to negotiate that - is it worth seeing a solicitor?

Oh sorry OP. That’s disappointing.

Whose name is the tenancy in? Can you afford the rent alone?

I’d use the gov.uk calculator re child maintenance and take it from there.

Thanks, I wasn’t quite expecting the response I got. The tenancy is in both of ours names. I could afford to in the short term, but I’m not sure he would move out. I’m just trying to focus on how to salvage good Co-parenting relationship.