to feel so sad about another Christmas alone?

[TheRoastPotatoDiet]

Every year I think this is the year I might finally meet someone. I'm actually dreading trying to be festive because I'm so lonely

My friends are all married or engaged. No one wants to do anything at Christmas because they're saving or pregnant or just plain busy.

I just want someone I could buy a present for, and for someone to do lovely Christmassy things with.

Apart for a couple of years, I spend Christmas (and every day) alone as well.

It really is just one day though. If you focus on the negative aspects then it will be shit, for sure. You have to actively choose how you spend the time in a more enjoyable way. Accept that it might not be a Hallmark template; but it can be whatever makes you content.

I mean this with kindness, but you are setting yourself up for a fall with your current mindset. You have to find the trigger that enables you to turn that off.

Ideas, and some things I have done in the past
Gone on a long bike ride (roads are deserted!)
Spring cleaned
Cooked a fancy meal
Gone for a drive
Brought my duvet downstairs and watched movies all day
Completed a massive puzzle
Slept!

• What do you like doing that you don't often get the chance to splurge on?

(Ugh, I missed your update about Christmas Day itself/it being more about being single, so adjust my previous post accordingly)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Christmas certainly isn't all fun, games and cuddles for everyone though.

My partner hates Christmas, so won't do anything Christmassy with me on the run-up. I have also disliked it ever since my parents split, as everything became awkward. Now, I only have to hear the opening few bars of a Christmas song and I feel sad.

We also have to spend Christmas Day mostly apart, as I will not leave my mum on her, and he has elderly parents who he wants to spend the day with (after all, you never know how many they have left - they're much older than my parents). So I go to my mum's and he goes to his parents' and then I normally go round to theirs later in the day.

All I want to do most of the time is spend the special day with him, but there's just things pulling us from every direction, and the simplest thing to do is what we are doing.

So I absolutely dread Christmas, and for one reason or another I know that I will just spend the day sitting feeling anxious and sad, when it feels like the rest of the world are having an amazing time.

I feel you OP. I'm 35 and this will be my 35th single Christmas lol. I will be spending the day with my parents thankfully but hoped I'd be married with children by this age.

I do all the hobbies, meetups, church and volunteering that's always suggested on here and have done since my late teens. I haven't tried OLD though.

My counsellor says to be ruthless with hobbies/pursuits. If there aren't any single youngish men she said I need to find events that bring me more into contact with them so I'm meeting new men via hobbies/interests several times a week. I've tried to make it clear there are very little activities in this area that meet that criteria (she's not from the same place as me) and she said to start my own meet up group. She hasn't explained why but is against the idea of me OLD, although the suggestion seems to be implied that she feels it can be a dangerous avenue.

In the meantime, I'm coming up with a winter bucket list of things I would like to do and I"ll try and ignore all the To The One I Love Cards. I buy extra gifts for children who might not get any otherwise and the homeless. And I just try to be thankful for the things I do have in my life. I've had alot of practice at the being single thing so I know the best thing for me at least is to try and distract myself as much as possible over the Christmas period and not dwell on the loneliness. It's much easier said than done though!

Good luck. You aren't alone in this. I hope things change for the better for us both in the days ahead.

Ski holiday for singles?

dear @slimfast89 sorry to hear you are having a hard time. So hope things will improve sweetie. will be thinking of you. there would be a row of flowers but i"m not able to get the icon here.xx

I'm 35 and this will be my 35th single Christmas lol

This sort of thinking/hyperbole frustrates me - did you expect to be in a committed relationship when you were 6? Or 11?

I keep myself busy in ways that make me happy, I just need to hope that I do meet Mr Right. I'd settle for Mr Almost There at this point!

Thanks again for the support.

Shatnerswig The "Why men love bitches" is actually a book about being independent as a woman. It's not so much about playing games as the poster who mentioned it stated. It's more about having your own life and not bending over backwards to please a man.

However, on reflection, if you're with the right person, then you can be yourself. You don't actually have to study any of the attachment theories either!!

Im on my own Christmas day after 12pm But I'm helping at the village get together for the elderly lonely. Absolutely loved it last year.

Hi OP, it must be hard and you will get sick of people always saying "it will happen eventually" or "it will happen when you least expect it". Sadly these annoying cliches are usuall true though.
My best friend was pretty much single until she was 41. She hadn't had a proper relationship in that time although had a few 'flings' with the wrong men. She did all the usual things, was out socialising all the time and tried OLD for years.
She gave up with OLD but then when I met someone on there, she decided to give it one last go. She went away to another city for the night and matches with a guy from there (pure luck) and has been with him a year now.
It really is luck and being in the right place at the right time.
I would give up on OLD for a while if you're feeling bad about it, and maybe go back to it in a few months and try again.

I have been single forever and I get through Christmas by working a LOT (shift work) and ignoring Christmas as much as possible. Otherwise it is unbearable. Can you take any time off around it and go away? That might break up the build up a bit and be something just for you (depends on your mood a bit- it usually cheers me up but if you are feeling super miserable it might not help!)
No real advice but lots of empathy here

Have you heard of meetup? It's website where people start groups to get people together to do something they enjoy and you get to meet a load of new people.

I am quite shy but with an activity to break the ice it could be a good way to break the ice and meet more people.

I was out on nye years ago and this girl approached me asking if I was in the meet-up group - so a group got together to celebrate and I thought that was great!

ill be alone this christmas we’ll not alone i have a husband but my plans will include eating tv and drinking at home in my pjs haha

OP I am single & have booked 1x ticket to a Christmas Concert and will go ALONE because literally all my friends are breastfeeding 😂

Just in case you thought it was just you who is doing single things at Xmas xxxx

(oh p.s me too - Also never had a relationship/boyfriend)

🤨

Also, this is a zombie thread.