I’m a (34f) and my husband is (41M) we have been together for 7 1/2 years lived together for 4 1/2 years and had a baby nearly 18 months ago who we both adore.
The problem is our sex life my husband has become selfish and I would describe our sex as ‘porn like’ wham bang Thankyou no touching for me or going down on me (like he used to) but he expects me to give him oral (even when I’m on my period, I get nothing) recently he has lost his erection with me and when I giving him a BJ it is taking ages for him to get hard and he starts soft! (Like I don’t excite him) last night we had sex I jumped into the shower before when I went into our bedroom he was naked and ‘ready’ for me which I was pleasantly surprised by still no foreplay straight to it luckily I had started in the shower so I was wet. After the sex (if you can call it that) he jumped in the shower I was suspicious of him being so ready so I looked at his phone on his web browser and flipped to the private one (iPhone) he forgot to get rid of what he had been looking at nude photos of women porn basically.
I feel down that he has to look at that before he has sex with me to get hard 😞 (the porn doesn’t bother me it’s just that he hides it and I think he is using that for pleasure more than me ) I dress up for him to please him and now he doesn’t even see it I feel like he thinks having sex with me is a chore. When I say day time sexy time when our baby is a sleep he is reluctant it’s like I’m forcing him.
We use to have sex all the time for the first 3 years it was 3-4 times a week when we moved in with each other it went down to 2-3 times a week since getting married and having a baby once very 2-3 weeks 😞
What suggestions would anyone suggest to help us I love him and I’m sure he loves me but I don’t feel desired and feel like a chore also he rarely kisses me except when we have sex I get a side peck on the lips and I’m the first to initiate it. No much PDA when there used to be