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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is it stalkerish if..

21 replies

TheTickingTime · 26/10/2019 21:27

so a few weeks ago I gave someone my number, after talking on a dating app. Then realised this person was really odd and something was just off about them.

This was a few weeks ago, however I never gave them my surname or any other identifying information about me, but they found me on facebook and sent me a request today? btw my mobile number is not shown so I cannot be found by using my number. And I have not spoken to this person since I blocked them. Odd?

OP posts:

Humanswarm · 26/10/2019 21:33

I'd consider it a little weird. How were they odd? I'd be inclined to message and be clear how you feel. Say goodbye..

Original poster

TheTickingTime · 26/10/2019 21:44

Spoke badly off his ex, said he didn't like women with baggage, told me about an incident where he had a go at someone for being in his way in a supermarket, just talk about how well off he was etc. Then told me I was too active and at my age I should slow down, sigh

OP posts:

IWorkAtTheCheescakeFactory · 26/10/2019 21:45

Have you tried googling your own phone number to see what comes up?

Mararunner · 26/10/2019 21:48

If your phone number is in his phone, and he uses facebook on his phone, then fb will suggest you as your in his contacts. I have this, when I take on a new client, and put their number in my phone, I will get a friend suggestion for them on fb.

Original poster

TheTickingTime · 26/10/2019 21:48

No I have not thought of doing that

OP posts:

Mararunner · 26/10/2019 21:48

*you're

Original poster

TheTickingTime · 26/10/2019 21:50

Didn't bring anything up

OP posts:

ShitOnIt78 · 26/10/2019 21:53

Ita really easy to find people on Facebook if you know what they look like. If you wanted to find "Andrew" and knew that he lived in Preston, if you put Andrew Preston into the fscenook search bar it will bring people up who have this as a name but also the Andrew's who live in Preston.

ShitOnIt78 · 26/10/2019 21:54

Even if you don't know what they look like, you could then look at all the Andrew's in Preston and deduce who you are looking for from other info such as their job,age etc if you know these things about them

Mrwoofington · 26/10/2019 21:59

If you add a number to WhatsApp it gives you that persons picture. With a first name and a picture you likely use as a profile photo it's easy.
You can reverse image search a photo too, which would take him to your profile.
If I phone a number my phone usually suggests the full name or company I'm calling -90% of the time it knows correctly.
Also just searching your name and anything else like city etc or mutual friends or anything isn't that hard.

There's many ways he may have found you quite easily.

You can also change your settings on Facebook so that people may not be able to see your phone number on there but if they search that/your email/other details about you they can find you. You can turn this setting off.

Regardless. Just block the guy.
Check your settings.

Original poster

TheTickingTime · 26/10/2019 22:00

I clearly need to up my detective skills as all of a sudden I feel really old lol, thanks guys :)

OP posts:

Mrwoofington · 26/10/2019 22:00

Also as others have suggested, once you add a person to your contacts you generally appear in your suggestions - that's probably all that's happened

Mimithemouse · 26/10/2019 22:08

Mmm, I got an Instagram request last week off someone I met once three years ago and who I'd made it very clear to that I didn't want to see him again. He must still have my number in his phone and it gave me the creeps.

B1rdflyinghigh · 26/10/2019 22:53

If you add a phone number into your phone, you can then search Instagram and Snapchat It's easy to find a surname if one of those is linked to either account. Fb wont let you search phone numbers, unless you've stated you can.

Nc77 · 26/10/2019 23:01

Does he know any of your friends or anything like that? Or have you mentioned you are part of Facebook group XYZ?

It’s not that hard to find someone but in the same breath if you put your mind to it I guess it would involved a little detective work, I.e searching friends lists specifically for your name

TokenGinger · 26/10/2019 23:32

Whatsapp and Facebook are linked. Whenever I speak to anybody new via WhatsApp, they show up on my "people you may know" list.

Beansandcoffee · 26/10/2019 23:49

Google image. It finds photos of you on Fb which is linked to messenger. Nothing suspicious but a bit creepy.

Killmeelmo · 27/10/2019 08:36

You will show up in his friend suggestions if he has your phone number. Facebook is creepy and so is he

Stuckandsadintheupsidedown · 27/10/2019 10:10

Reverse image search. If your dating pics are the same as facebook/Insta then it's pretty easy to find a person

leomama81 · 27/10/2019 10:20

Yes people whose number you have usually appear in your Facebook suggestions - I always thought this was because of WhatsApp (if you use that) as they are owned by FB. But perhaps it just happens if FB is on your phone as PP said. It has happened to me with a lot of people I've messaged.

That's what'll have happened, so I doubt he's tracked you down - still, he obviously is still hoping to talk to you!

Solitaryradiator · 27/10/2019 10:24

If you spoke on WhatsApp it will suggest you as a friend on FB as they’re owned by the same company. It happened to me too but not with a weirdo luckily

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