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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shall I contact him or let it go?

40 replies

JK1773 · 26/10/2019 12:03

God this is going to sound ridiculous for a woman in my 40s but here goes.
I live in a small town. Been happily single a few years now. Got great friends and we go out locally every weekend.
Several months ago a guy started coming into our local most weekends. He gradually became friends with us and chatting to us. He’s separated with a young child. Lives and works away from our town but was home each weekend as one of his parents lives here. Saw his child during the week etc but he wanted more time with them.
We got quite close really. We swapped numbers but haven’t communicated by phone or text. We did kiss one night which was nice.
So he hasn’t been around for a few weeks. I actually miss seeing him. I love my single life and wouldn’t give it up lightly but this is the first guy who has triggered any romantic interest in me for years!!
I have his number and I’m tempted to send him a text. I want to know if he’s likely to be coming back, has he got back with his ex? Does he now have his child at weekends? He’s just disappeared. I think about him a lot. If that’s the end of his visits I’d like to know so I stop looking out for him and put him out of my head. I’m also mindful that I’ve only ever seen him when I’m in drink which isn’t ideal and I’m conscious he might just think I’m an idiot! I’m not, I have a very stressful job and tend to just let my hair down at weekends.
WWYD? Send him a friendly text or just leave it and assume his life has moved on now? Confused

OP posts:
HalloweenCandyLeBonBon · 27/10/2019 20:02

I'm sure he'll reply op

Rachierach11 · 27/10/2019 21:00

Any news?

JK1773 · 11/11/2019 18:24

Thought I’d update this as it’s been a while.
He never did reply! The text still says delivered but not ‘read’. Odd. Wonder if he blocked my number for some reason Confused. Is that what would happen?

I have actually seen him once since then, had a chat, he didn’t acknowledge the text and I didn’t mention it. Said he’s been busy, work etc. Hey ho (aren’t we all).
I shall pursue this no further. He’s a nice man and just a friend who sometimes is here and mainly not. He’s very fit still! When I saw him I didn’t get that spark vibe any more. If he did fancy pursuing something once I don’t think he does now.
So continue with my happily single life with tv remote and starfish in bed Grin
A kind of happy ever after anyway Smile

OP posts:
cacklingmags · 11/11/2019 21:43

OP you sound like such a great person. So - have a lovely life. It may happen or not, but you know that you are OK with either. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

JK1773 · 11/11/2019 21:51

Thanks Cackling. That’s very kind Wine

OP posts:
RantyAnty · 11/11/2019 22:17

I suspect he's still married.

JK1773 · 11/11/2019 22:28

He is technically still married Ranty.
If he reconciles eventually with his wife then good luck to him. As long as he’s happy. It seems extremely doubtful from what he’s said to me but it’s really none of my business

OP posts:
Itsallpointless · 11/11/2019 22:33

I'm very much 'if it's meant to be' so OP, continue with your lovely life, because 'if it's meant to be' then it will, whatever you are doingSmile

JK1773 · 11/11/2019 22:35

SmileWineCakeGrin

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 11/11/2019 22:35

Well at least you know that you tried. His loss.. You sound lovely. Enjoy your life.

RantyAnty · 11/11/2019 22:54

I meant that he was always married and just gave you a story about him being separated and about his DC. He lives out of town. You'd never know. Very common cheating married man scenario.

JK1773 · 12/11/2019 07:15

Ranty you’re very cynical. You may be right. I don’t personally think so from what he’s said to me but like I said it’s nothing really to do with me. Smile

OP posts:
TheMistressQuickly · 12/11/2019 11:13

His loss! You sound lovely x

KnickerBockerAndrew · 12/11/2019 11:17

I want to be your bezzie, OP, you sound ace.

JK1773 · 12/11/2019 17:57

Thank you! Let’s all go dancing and celebrate being happily single 💃🏼🕺Grin

OP posts:
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