Would you agree that the majority of people have a problematic relationship with at least one of their parents?

[Thinkingaboutthestats]

Sat here looking at my beautiful sleeping baby thinking about this.

Myself my relationship with my mother is quite good but my father not so much. Thinking about my friends and other family members I’m struggling to think of a ‘happy healthy’ parent and adult child relationship

I had a poor relationship with my Dad growing up and he left us when I was around 7. Mum remarried a couple of years later and I had a lovely relationship with my step dad. Always been close to mum.
Kinda drifted from dad but recently since I married my DH we’ve become close again and I see him most weeks, but slowly drifting from my mum which is sad. It’s been playing on my mind and she’s sort of the kind of mum where if I was to tell her how I’ve been feeling , she’s get all funny with me . And she’ll shoot my conversation down if I bring up anything about my dad these days . I’m now 25, not 7 still. It’s sad.

Most people I know have a fine relationship with both. They might be closer to one than the other, but not a "problematic" relationship by any stretch.

Congrats on your baby!

I don't think it's the case that everyone does, or even most. My sibling and I don't get on great with our dad, but that's because he is selfish. My DH gets on with both his parents, and in my two longish previous relationships they got on with their parents too, in all those cases the parents were still married though, unlike mine - I wonder if that makes a difference? Also, amongst my friends it seems to be mums and daughters who have issues (plus a few others with absent dads like mine), maybe that is a trickier dynamic?

ToxicOven I think it probably does correlate with parents being divorced/separated., especially if the split was acrimonious. There is almost always going to be a parent who feels like the wronged party, and a parent who the children spend more time with and are likely to become closer to therefore making them distant from the other parent.

Most people I know have a fine relationship with both.

How would you really know?

On the surface, I have a good relationship with my mother. I even thought I did until I had my own child. As my child got older I realised that I would never treat my child the way she did me (I thought it was normal). Throw into the mix my dad dying and my other (favoured) sister having kids. Now my relationship with my mum is bad. Not that anyone other than my husband would know.

By the way, to answer the OP: I have a problem with one parent, so does DH. Of friends, I'd say it is 50:50, but like I said previously, you just don't really know other family dynamics.

I had a bad relationship with my dad growing up but he was a good father and a good man. Just our personalities clashed badly. My mum was and is perfect. So there’s no issue there really with either of them, just I was kinda an asshole to my dad.

There were minor difficulties that were resolved in early adulthood. I have very good relationships with both. My brother had a much harder way through (similar childhood issues hit him harder) and has very problematic relationships with our parents and wider family. My heart aches for him with all that he's missing out on.

In my (limited) experience it's more often the dad who's problematic, but bad mums have a more damaging impact, especially on women.

Most people I know get on better with one parent than the other for various reasons. Usually just a personality clash. However if all children favour the same parent it's usually because the unpopular parent isn't a very nice person.

My elderly grandmother has 6 adult children. They all got on better with their father ( my grandfather) for the simple reason that he was a kind easy going loyal man. My grandmother is a fiesty argumentative woman who's had affairs, had a child with another man,looses her temper easily and blames all her woes on everyone else. My grandfather has since passed away and my grandmother who is now in her late 80's wonders why her 6 kids don't really bother with her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

As @RosiePosiePuddle says, it's often not obvious to the outside observer.

I have a very difficult relationship wit both my parents but not many people know that. It's only surfaced for me since having my own children and going to therapy.

Most people who know our family would think we are all close. That's just the illusion that has been created. The truth is very different unfortunately.

I don’t know about everyone else but the relationship with both my Parents is great.

I know if I was ever in trouble they would be there no questions asked.

I was in a car accident when I was 18, they were on a UK based holiday at the time and when I rang and told them they left straight away and come home even though I was fine.

But my parents are together and as far as I’m aware there has been no infidelity on either side.

No.

Not my experience at all

Not for me or my dh or for the people I am close enough to know if there was issues.

I have one cousin that I know will have issues with his parents because they r both alcoholics and have some mental health issues but those problems began to arise when he was an adult.

I think it may be all about perception. I quickly spot problems in relationships due to my own experiences. But of course all relationships have problems. Especially with parents where the dynamics shift and there’s no choice in the matters I think many people are too quick to assume that a relationship with problems is problematic.