The best way to get over a guy...

[Minionmomma]

Is it to get under another?

Or do you wait, feel all the feelings, find yourself again and then start dipping your toe in the water...

How long did you wait after your marriage ended?

Not marriage but it’s been 3 years since I split with my ex and still not met anyone at all, starting to think I never will.

I think people are all different. I would wait before a relationship because you carry everything with you. But sex, meh.

Every break up has been different. Once I jumped back on the saddle within 24 hours, another time it was 5 years.

If you want to have sex with someone, do it. That part is really up to you and how you feel about it. Just don't expect some relationship from it. Of course make sure birth control and condoms every time.

The best way is No Contact. None.

Go no contact and plan or do something you've always wanted to do. Immerse yourself into a project. I don't think rebound sex works but if you want to do that then it's up to you.

I think it's different for everyone.

One thing that resonated with me was "allow 2 months for every year they've been in your life". So if the marriage lasted 5 years, that's 50 months, so allow 25 months for yourself to move on and feel ready to date someone else.

I think as a random benchmark that serves quite well. I know for myself it takes longer, and that's okay. EG when I split with my husband after 6 years, it took me over 3 years to be ready to date. Then got with another guy and moved in together etc. We split up 6 yrs ago and I doubt I'll bother again! Still getting plenty of sex via casual FWBs.

I'd heard that measure furious, when I was divorcing, BUT in my case the separation was a long time coming and by the time I got him moved out I'd started dating within weeks. I was so eager to add new experiences to old familiar places, talk with new people who had different perspectives, to have sex, to laugh and have fun after years of misery. None of the dates were serious, I didn't want that, but years later I still remember a lot of them. They were important in their own way. I found myself this way.

If my current relationship came to an end it would be different. I would move, but probably not date for a long time if at all. I'm with my perfect partner. It would be hard to find another and I imagine it would take a long time for me to want to look.

Surely if it's "2 months for every year" then it would be 10 months for a 5 year marriage.

Anyway, I think it's when you feel ready. But it's likely to be a bad idea to jump into something serious too soon. But taking it lightly, sure.

Get under another..what have you got to loose? Great for your self esteem too....

It depends entirely on the individual, when my ex moved out I called my best friend (we have an FWB arrangement when single) and he was over the same night. But it was a very expected break up and I had already checked out of the relationship.

If my current relationship broke down I think it would take quite a long time to get over it and I definitely wouldn’t be getting with my mate straight away.