I ended it :(

[Custardcreamz]

I posted here few days/weeks ago about 7 year relationship ending. I feel terrible :( keep thinking have I made a mistake? He wasn't a horrible person and we went through a lot both still love each other,, he said he would change but I know he is too addicted to his video games we tried before over and over and he just couldn't put his gaming down. We were both crying he begged me not to go and I couldn't look him in the eye this pain is worst I have felt :( and now I am at my mums and I just want to go back and cuddle but I know we were never going to be compatible I was young when got together. Please help me feel better about my decision is it normal?

We were comfortable together and I still wanted spend time him but he was just to into games, never wanted cook for us or initiated sex and I felt alone. Gosh it's difficult :( part me just wants run into his arms, I will never see him again :( I also haven't started anything with the guy I had a crush on at work, it just gave me strength to leave. My whole life is up in the air now have left my job and moved in my mums.

This confusion and pain is temporary. Staying would have been permanent. This too shall pass.

I was the poster who said on your thread that I have never seen a marriage involving a gamer of either sex I’d want to be in. I’m sure they exist, people for whom it’s a hobby that doesn’t eat up their lives and makes them inattentive partners and distracted parents, but I haven’t come across them'.

The reason he’s crying is partly because you’ve done something that has woken him up from his addiction. What he actually wants is for everything to go on as before. That didn’t work for you. You were an optional extra, the ignored wallpaper to his real preoccupation. Hold strong. If you go back, sooner or later he’ll backslide.

You did the right thing OP. Look for another job. When you have got your life back look for another man

Thank you guys xx it just really hurts when I still love him :( dosnt matter that he said he had got rid of the games sooner or later they would come back in because it's what he enjoys and ignores his relationship in the process.

Thank you all xxx

He wouldn't have changed. If you go back, it'll be great for a couple of days and then you'd realise he was just the same.

You're missing what he wasn't giving you in the first place. You're worth more than that.

Thank you I know it's horrible :( xxx

Tell him to contact you when he's not gamed in a year, and if you're single and still interested in a version of him that prioritises his relationship, you'll consider dating him then. But not otherwise.

You're right - he'd start by saying "oh I'm just going to pop on for a quick game" then before you know it you'd be back at square one.

You've done the right thing and it'll get easier.

I know I mean he maybe would have gone without them month or so but it was still other things we were incompatible sexually and didn't have much in common any longer, he found me clingy when I just wanted feel more connected I'll be okay :( life is hard xxxx thank you all helping me

You will be alright yes xxx but its horrid at first.

I reckon cosy times while you're down, nice films, early nights, hot baths etc.

Just get through the days and distract yourself if needs be.

You have done the right thing, but it does hurt. But its brave if you, grown up, wise. Your happiness matters. Nerves jangle for real reasons.

In a few weeks it'll be time for the next step. Picking up what you've put down, doing things you haven't been able to do....in short, moving on.

One day you'll go round to see him and realise you were right to call it a day, and then you'll really be over him xx and maybe he will be a friend.

My DH plays games. I used to play co op games with him but they seem to be more geared towards online co op now instead of local. He plays more than I do but we still make time to do things together and I have other hobbies of my own.

I think you made the best decision for you because he seemed to be so focused on gaming he didn’t make time for you.

Make sure to find out if future love interests game or not otherwise you might end up in a similar situation.

Hi OP, just wanted to post in solidarity. I am going through very similar (although different reasons for leaving). My partner also cried & begged me not to go (leaving was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done!) It was a 6 year relationship & I am also now back at my mum & dads & looking for a new job as well. Generally piecing my life back together slowly but surely.
It is so hard, there have been times (esp in the evenings) when I’ve just wanted to go running back as well but I know it would only set me back further. Wee list of things that have been helping me (& maybe will help you to):

Keeping a list in my phone notes of reasons why I left & why we are absolutely not compatible (helps to look at in weak moments)
Daily walks to get outside & fresh air
Trying out new exercise classes (joined my local council gym)
Not messaging him or replying to his messages to me (hard but really necessary)
Making plans with friends as much as poss
Early nights
Generally being kind/looking after myself (face masks, baths etc)
Distraction with good light hearted tv shows on Netlfix.

Nothing groundbreaking but hope this helps. Sending

Thank you very much your help xX and I know I just want to run and go cuddle 😩 horrible pain