Hi, I know this might sound utterly bizarre if you can’t relate to it but I just wonder if anybody else ever experiences this. Throughout my relationship (5+ years) but more recently I keep having strong feelings of guilt like I’ve had an affair, although I categorically have not. I feel that if DP saw video footage of our entire relationship he’d hate me and I start to feel hot and sweaty remembering certain things, like FB messaging a boy I used to fancy (wasn’t a flirty convo), or remembering a conversation I had whilst drunk at a work party which I fear might have been too flirty. Also I went out to dinner with a friend recently and we both discussed feeling scared we had settled down too young and it’s strange that we’ve never ‘dated’ and there’s a part of us that is curious... I worry that if he knew of this conversation he’d hate me. I also panic at the idea that I’m not emotionally strong enough to resist other people trying to chip away at me and get into my head with their suggestions... basically I’m having an anxious spiral and it’s making me want to say to DP please just leave me, I need to be on my own, I need to check into some sort of healing programme to be a better person and until then I can’t face any sort of human relationship with anyone. I feel everything is sullied and I’m just awful. Sorry I know this reads as confused, I just want to know that I’m not alone