Disassociating

[mathsmad1]

Hi. My husband has left me some
Months ago it in person but in marriage , he doesn't
Love me anymore and while I am
Sad There has been little love there on either side for a long time . Maybe relief, maybe decision made for
Me, maybe content that my shit
Marriage is over, I don't
Know! . We move in a month, by choice . I want to ask about my feelings and if they are normal please. I feel like I am in the middle of a dream, like an outer body experience. I often get dizzy and lose my balance and feel vacant and spaced out. Is this normal
Please. I have not really been angry, just politely accepting and doing everything to avoid stress or tension or arguments for or in front of my children. I am
Not a walkover and have negotiated a good settlement in the best interest of the kids .
Please tell me what's wrong with me ?

Anyone please?

Normal. I've known women sit and stare all day, every day, when a marriage ends. I couldn't stop doing housework (not in my nature at all!).
See a doctor, as short term meds might help.

What type of meds? I'm holding down my job , in fact it's my saviour . I'm sleeping after a couple of months of not .tjamks for replying btw

Completely normal, i feel like im in a paraller universe. Sometimes i feel im here in body seeing things happen around me, going through the motions (my partner told me we were over a few days ago). i think its just a coping mechanism. You detach not too hurt so deeply. Dont feel bad for it. Doctors could be very helpful. Maybe antidepressants for a little while or counselling to see you through it.

I'm having counselling and meeting her tomorrow so perhaps I will talk to her about this. It's like I know it's not normal , but it's my normal fir the last month or so . I am functioning well enough but I know something is very off .

You are doing well!
Set yourself small goals and tackle them one at a time. Even put it down on a list, the satisfaction of ticking items off is greatly satisfying.
Your feelings are completely normal and don’t forget you have done the worst bit already.

Thanks. Do I need to see a gp though? ? I am
Functioning but now and then I realise that I am totally spaced out and not ' present' . I hate not knowing how to control this . I feel ok on a day to day basis . Sometimes I crash out on my bed for an hour but I have children so guilt gets the better of me and I jump up and get straight back into role .

Can anyone else relate please?

Go to your GP and explain what you’ve said on here. I think you’re feelings are totally normal but you might need some medication to support you for a little while. Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time x

As others said- you could get it checked out. If you're getting counselling that'll help. I think it's just your way of dealing with the stress. Hugs xxx

Thanks for your responses . I will see go tomorrow and counsellor this evening

maths, lovely, you’ve been through a hard time. It’s normal to be shaken up. You’ve taken a ‘battering’ you just need to rest and heal.
It is good that you are listening to your body and resting.
Can you sleep alright? Are you eating properly? Do you go out for a walk, a swim? Do you have friends/family to talk to?

When I was going through separation, I was on autopilot, I just ploughed on, but I couldn’t sleep. But it does get better. You will find that sometimes you can’t even remember you had a husband. You’ll be content and at ease with life again. Takes a bit of time.
Have a big hug and come and talk to us any time.

I felt like this for a long while too.I couldn't even go out for long periods of time. Felt like I was living in a different world to other people . Crying all the time. And only for responsibilities , probably would have stayed in bed too. I think it is a defence thing.I know if I would "let go", I would have been howling .
I think it was shock and trauma.
Great that you are seeing a counsellor .They will definitely be able to explain and advise you how to cope .And suggest GP if necessary.
So sorry you are going through this. It is soo awful , isn't it ?

I have not been through a divorce, but it sounds like grief to me. This is exactly how I have felt when someone close to me has died.
I think we as a society expect a lot of people when dealing with tough times, too much. Getting divorced is a big deal and you will be dealing with lots of emotions. When there is too much happening emotionally, our body protects us by keeping us vacant in this way.
You are managing to go to work and carry on day-to-day, just rest and be kind to yourself. It will get better but you need time to get over this.
It is the physical equivalent of being very ill in hospital. You wouldn't come home and expect to be totally normal and get on with life as before. You would know that you need time to recuperate, rest and fully recover. That is what you need as well.

Low thyroid can give you this feeling so worth asking to get it checked out as stress may have brought it on.

Your physical symptoms are most likely a result of stress.

I can relate so much to this. After ending an abusive relationship I felt really dizzy and spaced out and life seemed very strange and unreal.

For me my eyes were opened when I spoke to my friend who is a psychologist and she told me that I was ‘shallow breathing’ (it’s almost like hyperventilating without realising it) through stress. We can’t help it, it’s a natural physiological response. Fight or flight.

Obviously it’s still wise to go and see the GP but i thought I’d mention about the ‘shallow breathing’ as it’s so often overlooked and breathing exercises really helped me to feel more ‘normal’ and on planet earth again.

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and share your thoughts and experiences.
I have felt dizzy slit too.To the point that I would need to hold onto something to stand straight.
I was grinding my teeth so much at night that I had terrible facial pain every morning . Wine sorted that but that has passed.
I will certainly try breathing exercises.
Yesterday was terribly heavy but today is a new day and a new start