Hi guys,
I wanted a bit of impartial advice. I had a very upsetting end of a relationship around 5 months ago, my ex partner (fiance at the time) left me without a word, leaving me by letter. Throughout the relationship I suffered with terrible anxiety as he was extremely inconsistent and lied to me about money a lot.
I started dating again around two months ago and met a guy online and we have some mutual friends. He lives around 40mins drive away. He often works closer to where I live. He is a very good looking guy and people comment about this a lot. People that see us together tell me that we are very well matched but I have low self esteem at times but I can accept that we are well matched.
Our first date was great, (6 weeks ago) we got along well and there was lots of chemistry and he even asked for a kiss. We kissed a lot and people commented on the fact that we were a great match for each other. The date started at 7pm and then we were there till the bar closed at 12pm. We weren't even drinking. He asked when he could see me again and we saw each other two days later and spent the entire day together.
Since then, things have progressed and we have seen each other around ten times in 6 weeks. He has stayed over at my house and I have cooked him dinner. Last week I saw him three times in 8 days. We have been intimate and there is lots of chemistry. He is very affectionate towards me, at home and in public. He refuses most of the time to allow me to pay for dinner or drinks when we go out. He told me that he 'loves' having sex with me. I can feel a serious amount of chemistry between us and when we are together I feel like he is into me.
Since the night I met him, he has text me every morning to say good morning and every evening to say goodnight. We usually text back and forth a bit during the day when we take breaks at work. He always asks how I am and takes an interest.
He has not cancelled any dates, always turned up when expected and has even come to see me when he was feeling extremely hungover, driving 40 minutes here and then back again.
He went on a boys weekend away recently and kept in contact the whole time, sending me photos and videos of them all out.
He has a very active social life, lives with two of his friends (I own my own house). He is good with money and told me that he was waiting to by a house with someone (a woman) and settle down. I asked if he is looking for a relationship and he told me that he is and that he wants to settle but that he wants to take things slowly. He is younger than me, I am 34 and he is 31.
His previous relationship ended around four months ago. They were together around 12 months. They didn't live together but she met his friends and family and it appeared that he cared for her a great deal. He explained that she was very insecure and did not like it when he was independent as he knows that he is laid back when it comes to relationships. He explained that girls have commented on this previously but that he is happy in his life and wants someone to add to this rather than be his whole world. I do get that.
Problem is, he is a bit laid back and this coupled with my emotional trauma earlier this year, I am struggling with my anxieties around does he like me? Where is this going? I'm currently seeing him around once per week. Its generally us both suggesting to meet up. Sometimes he can be a bit last minute and I'll spend all week worrying that he doesn't want to see me and then Thursday he will ask if I want to do something on Sunday. He always agrees if I suggest something and turns up. He is coming to see me Friday which he rearranged as he cannot do the original date we suggested.
When he does stay over, he generally stays in the morning to have breakfast and chat some and then says he has to go. I always feel disappointed when he leaves.
I just want to see him more. I am totally falling for him. Some of my friends think my expectations this early on are too high. Is this the case? Its been 6 weeks, he hasn't said I am his girlfriend and I am scared to have the exclusive chat in case I make him think I am insecure. We speak most evenings via text and sometimes we talk on the phone. If I call him, he generally answers and if not he will call me back almost straight away. He has also taken the initiative to call me a few times too. He always tells me what he is doing in the evenings and he is in bed by 10 as he gets up at 5am to travel to work. I don't think he is dating anyone else but I couldn't be sure. Surely guys don't have the time, finances, or the effort or even the interest to be seeing multiple women?
He seems keen on me and when I ask him things he answers openly. He is a 'laddy' lad. He likes a night out with his friends and has a lot of friends.
Am I reading too much into all of this? Is it that he does like me but that he is laid back and wants to take things slowly? I cannot work out if it is my anxieties that are making me feel like this or a feeling.
Thanks for listening, any advice on what to do, how to react would be fab.
I am totally aware that you may say I am being too needy. That's okay too, I just need to hear this from people that are impartial.
Many thanks,
x