So the whole backstory is:
About 2 years ago I borrowed my wife's phone for a torch to look for something under the sink, I know I shouldn't have done and it was shitty, but I checked on her WhatsApp and she had a whole series of sexually explicit messages with some dude from her work.
I have no idea if it went any further or not, she had literally given birth one month earlier to our son and was on maternity leave, so the whole thing is totally fucked up. She blamed it on my buying a puppy for our daughter as a surprise without asking her first. That was quite bad on my part I suppose, but I was just thinking about my daughter.
The whole home life at the time was difficult as I was sick off work at the same time long term too so it was very stressful for her I guess.
The weird thing is that she doesn't lock her phone or have it passworded so it's almost like she wanted me to find out. Or trusted me not to look(!) I checked her WhatsApp because we barely ever have sex despite me wanting too, or kiss or cuddle, again despite me wanting to. She's quite cold and distant at times emotionally and never wants to talk about her problems.
When I discovered these texts she asked if I was going to leave her. I said I didn't know, but ended up staying because of the kids and felt bad about leaving with the baby etc. She said she would move jobs to move away from the guy she was "just sexting" and she never did. I never gave her an ultimatum to move jobs, this was her idea. We did move away this summer but that was because of circumstances out of our control and she now has a new job in a different area.
So today, gut feeling again isn't right my wife has been really distant again for the last few weeks and there is a "lil softy" in her WhatsApp. Clicked in the picture and it's a guy. Someone she appears to be messaging everyday or almost everyday. Someone I don't know. Someone she has a nickname/ pet name for.
It's not sexually explicit messages, but I feel really gutted that she seems to have more of an emotional connection with this person that she does with me, lots of kisses (xx) at the end of every message, and very frequent messages.
Wife still doesn't have a password on her phone(!)
I'm really not sure if I'm making too much of this, how to broach the subject with her or what to do about it.
Yes I know I'm a massive twat for looking at her phone, I've tried talking to her about the emotional distance between us, but she doesn't like talking about it and closes down every time. We've had sex I think maybe three times this year. It's been a difficult time this year as I'm still sick and have lost my job and we have had to move house because of it