My friend's having trouble with an ex. She's not on MN but asked me to post this as I told her you lot are great at knowing how to deal with arsehole exes.
My friend had a holiday romance this summer with an American guy who seemed lovely at the time. When she got back to the UK, they carried on a long distance relationship and he said he'd come visit the UK in the Spring to see her and some clients he (allegedly) has here. But it became clear fairly quickly that it wasn't going to work - narcissistic red flags all over the place, so my friend ended it and asked him to leave her alone.
But now, he just won't leave her alone. She's had to block him on social media so he's started contacting her friends and even sending messages to a charity group she volunteers with. He can be very charming, and it's not obvious to those who aren't in the know, what he's up to. e.g. the most recent message to the charity was a public Facebook message, offering to volunteer skills in the specific area my friend volunteers in and mentioning they he'd be over (to the area she lives in) next year. On the surface, it sounds like a nice offer and people who don't know him, started chatting with him about it. But, my friend knows he's meaning her to see it, and it's intended to get at her. It's really insidious - he sounds so innocent if you don't know the context.
If he was in the UK, this would be harassment, wouldn't it? The law is clear here, isn't it? If you ask someone to stop contacting you or your friends and they keep on doing it, then that's harassment, isn't it? Does the US have similar laws?
My friend is really worried about him coming over - as he still claims to be planning to do so. She really wants him to just leave her alone, the whole thing is really distressing.
I was thinking, if what he's doing is harassment in the UK but not the US, might a legal letter explaining that he's breaking UK law if he keeps contacting her (and therefore, risking interest from the police if he comes here) be a good idea? Hopefully it might put him off actually coming here and make even him stop if he understands it's illegal here? (Another friend of mine was harassed by an ex years ago, and he did bugger off once she got the police involved).
I've said I'll help my friend look into this. How would we go about doing this? Could we write it ourselves or would we need a proper solicitor to write it?
Any ideas on how to deal with this situation would be much appreciated. I'll send my friend a link to this thread, so she'll be able to read responses.
(Regular but NC as I don't want to tie this post to any identifying info of mine that he might use to get at me or my friend).