Head all over the place - met up with an ex

[NYonge]

I'm 'happily' married. I know I love my husband but yesterday I met up with an Ex from over ten years ago. I last met him last year and then again yesterday.

Yesterday my ex and I went out and I took my kids to show him that I'm now a stay-at-home Mum. I wasn't prepared to go by myself to meet him for a coffee as I felt this was crossing a boundary.

Anyway ... I can't stop thinking about him. Yesterday was incredible. I feel like I've fallen head over heels in love with him! I found myself crying while I was with him, telling him how upset I was that him and I never worked. He was so caring and understanding. He listened. He wiped away my tears with his thumb, he hugged me and he grabbed my hand.... O my goodness... Am I in too deep? Have I found myself already cheating? Am I emotionally cheating?

I really want to see him again. I want to see him because he makes me happy and I thoroughly enjoyed his company and not because I want to strip his clothes off!

When he hugged me, I did purposely avoid eye contact.

What do I do. Call it a day? Continue seeing him because he really made me smile (yes, I can't stop mentioning how much I enjoyed his company!).

My husband knows that I met this guy.

Can someone put my head straight? Be as honest and as brutal as you wish. I'm expecting the worst!

Don't use your children like that. If you leave your husband for this man their guilt at colluding with you while you behaved so inappropriately (I don't care how old they are) will stay with them forever. I am telling you this from personal experience. Never involve your children in that way ever again.

Hang on you took your kids to meet an ex where you were cuddling and getting your tears wiped away?

Ask yourself why you don’t feel these things in your marriage, then sort them out with your husband.

You sound bored, or depressed, or regretting your choices, or just generally unhappy with your situation. Not sure what it is, but these are all things that need to be identified and addressed within your marital relationship, not with some guy you used to know.

It’s grossly unfair on your husband.

You are cheating, yes. You need to stop. No judgement from me: life is hard and adulthood is hard and parenthood is hard, but this isn’t rea. Block this man and never speak to him again- communicate instead with your husband. You’re one step away from a full blown affair and it’s never worth it.

Yes, you're emotionally cheating, and in front if your children. It's not looking good, is it?

You split with your ex for a reason. It's in the past and nothing good can come of you meeting up with him.

You are already emotionally cheating. Your children are not stupid. My stepchildren had to witness their mother falling in love with a 'friend' while daddy was at work and let me tell you, they will never ever forgive her. Don't be that person

He wiped away my tears with his thumb

Seriously? The pair of you need to grow up.

Yep you're cheating and forcing your children to witness it.

Thank you for your messages.

It's the wake up cal I've needed - sounds silly because I should have already seen it for myself.

I was certainly on a wave a lust yesterday.

I know that I want my marriage to survive. I can see clearly now that I'm on a dangerous path if I don't stop things now.

Thanks everyone. My eyes are now open!

Walk away. You're chasing a fantasy. Snatched moments can be amazing but they're not real life. You sound as if you have a good life with what you've got. Don't ruin it. The heartache to everyone would be unbearable.

So true

This cannot be true

Are you happy with your husband?

Is there a really, really bad "writers' " group using MN as a test-bed for their short story idea at the moment? So much awful, turgid romance.

I think it's our friendly serial poster again 🤔

Remember why you broke up with your ex in the first place. Also ask yourself whether you are prepared to sacrifice your children's happiness on the altar of your lust/ fantasy

Couldn't you just have brought a photo of your children?

You took the kids

Couldn't you just have brought a photo of your children?

Mumsnet: ever practical.

You made a fool of your husband and a mockery of your marriage, and did it in the presence of your children. How would you feel if H was emotionally connecting and lusting over another woman who was wiping his tears with her thumb?

Cut contact with this man immediately.

If this actually happened, it’s poor form to involve your children

You are in love with the IDEA of being in love.
That type of love that is the first thing on your mind when you wake up. That love that stops you eating, sends a tingle through your body.
But we all know that does not last, it's a hormonal reaction, it wears away.
Honestly , if you wanted to feel like this you would have to move from relationship to relationship every few month - to a year or so.
Life isn't like that and you know that. Walk away, shut your past back into the past .