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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My partner has left me for someone else

4 replies

MedusaMomma · 22/10/2019 20:56

This has been going on for some time. My partner of 15 years had an affair because he said he was looking for attention. He lied and lied about where he was and after awhile i found out they were sleeping together. He said that she could have been anybody because she showed him affection. Anyway she didn't know anything about me and she didn't want to know. My now ex moved to his sisters and said he was ashamed of what he had done ans and felt bad because he had abandoned his son. I agreed that if we were to move forward and it was over with the other woman that we could work on being amicable for the sake of our son.he is autistic and has appointments and so on and that was the whole point. He is only 4. So we were trying to work on things and he has only seen his son a handful of times and I found out he had been messaging her agian. I asked him about it and yes i was angry and he said he was just having flack at work because they work together and was trying to smooth things out. He said he didn't want to be with her because he just didn't feel right in himself. Before all this happened I found out I was pregnant and we talked and he said he didn't want the family unit to change and was worried that another baby might have problems and would make it more difficult. I thought about this and had a termination. I had to do it by myself and now I know that the day i did it was the day he began sleeping with her. So today he agian said that he wanted to put everything to one side for the sake of our son and then in the next breathe said no he loves her and if its going to cause problems he won't see my son anymore. I feel so upset by all of this. I don't really have much of a support system so I have to care for my son 100 % of the time. I have no job because of the circumstances so he pays for everything. I just feel so upset and alone and don't know where to turn

OP posts:
Babyg1995 · 22/10/2019 21:02

That's is terrible op can I just ask is he your son's father it's just when you say he said he won't see your son anymore if it's his child he will have to have contact with his son.
You deserve so much better than this dont give him the chance again and dump him.

nomoreclue · 22/10/2019 21:02

I didn’t want to read and run but not sure what advice to offer. What a crap situation. Why isn’t he taking your son for some days/evenings so you can start to build your life up away from him. You can’t be expected to do 100% while he gets to swan around like a single man with no responsibilities.

MedusaMomma · 22/10/2019 21:17

I just can't believe he would do this. He hasn't taken any of his things and he just won't talk to me because im angry. We had a life together once and now he keeps picking me apart and saying what a bad person I am. Ive been worried about my boy since I knew he was different. When he interacted with our son it was just play fighting or him playing games on a console while my son watched it wasn't helping me with his speech or development. I never said anything I just let it go. Up. Until this point he was great with me. Then when i became pregnant he started the affair. It just hurts so much. He is 40 and she is 26 and has a child. I just feel sick that they will probably have a child together and i feel robbed of my second child

OP posts:
MedusaMomma · 23/10/2019 07:30

Last night I tried to get some sleep and today I feel less bewildered. He keeps texting me and it's almost like he wants me to feel sorry for him or something. I haven't replied to any of the messages because it just feels like he is playing some kind of ego game

OP posts:
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