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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you say something ?

6 replies

Crystal1981 · 22/10/2019 17:55

I was staying with my aunt, who's in her early 50s, her husband and my cousin.
Her husband has always been pleasant and polite enough with me, but I know they have had their issues.
He's French but my aunt isn't, they live in France together and I go over to visit them when I can.
A year ago they almost got divorced and they had a screaming match in front of me with them both accusing the other of affairs (no idea if any of it is true).
She also informed me once by email that she was 'having a crisis with him' and wouldn't tell me what it was, but asked me not to tell my Dad. I think he also smokes weed in the house even though they have a son there who is 13.

Anyway fast forward and they seemed to be back on track. I visited not too long ago and something odd happened.
He has his own office and I asked if I could print my boarding pass as he has a printer.

I needed to log onto my email account but saw it was still logged on his. On the top, there was an email from gaydar. I looked and there were a few, and also from another site which translates as 'adoptaguy.com'.
They were either alerts that people had liked or messaged him.
I was in shock but said nothing. The next Day, I told my Mum what I had seen, she said it was best to say nothing as I didn't know what went on in their marriage, they have a child together, and maybe my aunt was aware of it..
She's maybe right but I still feel torn. Especially as they are gay websites and hes married to a woman. I just wonder if she has no idea and he's meeting other men (and maybe women) behind her back.
Would others say something ?

Thanks

OP posts:
LenoVintura · 22/10/2019 17:57

NOYB. No.

Crystal1981 · 22/10/2019 17:58

I know it's none of my business I agree, but honestly if it were my husband i'd prefer to know..

OP posts:
user764329056 · 22/10/2019 18:03

If it were me I wouldn’t get involved xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Finchy19 · 22/10/2019 18:03

She might know and want to keep it between them though. Her finding out will get back to the fact you looked through his email. I don't necessarily think it's your place to say.

FavouriteSoul · 22/10/2019 18:03

Absolutely none of your business. You shouldn't have looked - as soon as you realised he was still logged on, you should have told him. You don't know what kind of marriage they have and whether he smokes weed or not is irrelevant.

Crystal1981 · 22/10/2019 18:10

Yeah I guess not.. I dont think it's good that he smokes weed with a child in the house but again not my business I suppose. Maybe they have some sort of agreement I have no idea. I just hope he isn't doing the dirty on her.

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