Dealing with the guilt trips from family during seperation

[Louise000000]

So I've told my H I want to seperate.
We are still living together as friends.
My mum has just said 'if you split you will devastate your kids'
Am I living in some kind of fantasy that a split can be done with minimal disruption from kids?
My head is total mince. How do you cope when people around you obviously don't want you to split? How do you trust your own emotions that you would put your kids happiness at steak?
I'm totally filled with guilt, anxiety and I'm bloody lost!
Not sure the purpose of the post!
Got councilling booked for Monday.

Is the counselling on Monday for your own self?.

Do not listen to your mother; she is being unhelpful here as well as being unsupportive. She has her own issues here and you need to pay no attention to her.

There is much anecdotal evidence as well as studies showing that it is not always beneficial for a couple to stay together for the sake of the children.

Yes its for me.

Bloody hell do I need it !!
I've spent years contemplating this, feeling selfish/guilty/trying all I can, fake it till I make it. Being the best wife I can but I just can't be false any more. I don't love him
I told him and sugar coated it, then a week later I was straight with him.
I thought he took it well. But he's back and forth obviously as he's hurting.
Will the councillor help me unravel what's in my head and what I really want?

Hopefully the counsellor will be able to help you go forward. However, that person will not make any decisions for you.

You're undoubtedly hurting too but you and he living as friends in the same house is a recipe for disaster as well as confusing for the children. He may not be amicable in the long run and if you have not sought legal advice to date I would do so asap.

Thanks attila, difficult times ahead!!
Hoping the councillor will help and that I'll gel with him as I've waited 6 weeks for this appt! Never done any councilling before.
Want to hide in a cave and come out next summer!!