Has MN changed your relationship? For better or for worse?

[tiajon]

Just wondering if reading MN has change the sort of gf/wife you are.

On the one hand it feels as though (although not the case) that every DH is cheating/ on dating sites etc., which may have made you more mistrusting and guarded?

On the other hand it seems like a lot of the ladies here are very liberal - very much 'live and let live' with regard to what the DH gets up to. Which may have made you feel more at ease with your partner and relationship.

Any thoughts? How has MN changed your thinking as a gf/wife/partner?

MN helped by enabling me to see my ex was abusive, and the DCs and I are now well away from him.

Sorry, I meant to add that for any future relationship, I'll be firmer on my boundaries, which I reckon should lead to less tension, as I won't be picking someone I walk on eggshells around.

I never had any trust issues although ex did, without reason, so I'm generally relaxed in that sense.

Indeed! I wish I'd found MN when I was in an abusing relationship for over a decade. And the several years of harassment and stalking that followed. I'm sure

Posted to soon.

I'm sure I could have put a stop to it all sooner.

*abusive

It's change me - I think.
But as for relationships - no thanks!!!!
Been let down and screwed over way too many times.
I'm remaining happy and single with my gorgeous puppy.
Don't need a man! Don't think I ever will.

It’s made me think dogs and cats are far better company and better deserved of my affection

I recognised the cheating signs from my husband on here (the detaching, the phone being attached to him etc) and so I checked his phone. Never in a million years would I have thought he was cheating on me, but he was. I would never have connected the dots before. I will never trust another man ever again, so yes, it’s changed me

MN stopped me from doing the pick me dance when my husband had an affair. I just packed his stuff and told him to fuck off.

It helped me celebrate being single to be honest. My standards are so much higher and my threshold for BS is none existent now.

It's made me happier with my single and financially independent status.

I think it's made me more assertive. I don't put up with mansplaining anymore!

MN helped me leave my abusive ExH and educated me about relationships which will help me for the rest of my life.

So it made my relationship 'worse', but made my life far better.

Yes, definitely made me realise how bad my relationship was and gave me the courage to end it. 2 years on, divorced and I couldn't be happier, and I definitely wouldn't put up with what I did ever again

Has made me, unfortunately, realise my lovely dh is a functional alcoholic. Was fine with his excessive drinking before (it certainly didn't see to affect me like now). Saw him as a social piss-head. He is a lovely drunk, and has the capacity of an elephant so not always drunk drunk. Treats me extremely well and is loving and supportive. Doesn't vanish on binges, doesn't miss work or get into debt etc. We don't have kids, and do have things we'd do that didn't involve the pub. He's not physically dependent, but gets 'bored' easily if not getting drunk/tipsy.

Now I'm uber aware of how much he drinks, am policing him and we're both less happy. He's trying to cut down and doing very well. But I keep waiting anxiously for him to mess up.

Ignorance was bliss!

Made me realise what a dangerous position I was in as an unmarried SAHM. I now have a part-time job and our wedding is booked for early next year.

Occasionally myself and dp have a giggle about some of the threads if I see something funny or crazy .Other than that we don't ever mention MN. I mean, why would we?

It has helped me a lot as, as when you are cheated on you feel lonely, isolated with no self esteem. Reading the posts from other ladies going through the same thing made me realise I wasn't alone, I wasn't fractured, I wasn't unloveable and I could live an amazing life without a relationship. So MN has helped me no end.

For better. MN made me realise I was borderline abusive to DH.

I'd spent many years as a single parent, owned my house, established a great career, earned a lot more. I was so used to being boss of my own world. I expected him to fit around me rather than me even think about what worked for him. (DCs were teens when we met)

I'm a much better wife - and person - thanks to you all still a long way from perfect

Suretry same. Though I don't have a job yet. I was a SAHM for 3 years for my eldest. Went back to work for 3 years, now a SAHM mum again and for at least another year. But our wedding is also booked for next year. I didn't really think about it much before. But I guess MN made me force the issue.

Also has made me more aware of feminist issues I didn't really think about before. But now I have a daughter, my eyes are wide open and MN has definitely helped to open them.

I’ve been thinking this over. I first started coming on MN when I was leaving my emotionally abusive ex over 4 years ago. Reading up about gaslighting etc really opened my eyes and I left him. I then had a relationship that ended unexpectedly 2 years ago and MN helped me through that (that wasn’t an abusive relationship, just a shock).
In the last 2 years I’ve been approached twice by men who treated me like shit in my younger years, led me on, messed me about etc and I put up with it, let them back, thought it would all work out etc.
So in the past 2 years I’ve bumped into both of them, one only last week. Both saying I was the one that got away, they regret what happened, let’s try again etc.
Do you know what I thought? HELL NO! You had your chance. They both came across as losers, just desperate not to be on their own after their marriages broke down. Whereas I embrace being single, enjoy laughing with my friends, love my own freedom, space, time etc.
That’s what MN has done for me
The first one a couple of years ago went mad when I turned him down and blocked me everywhere! The nerve of the man 😂😂😂

Made me realise that there is so much similarity to most abuse and the script!

Makes me sad that so many people are living with it - we should teach children in school about healthy relationships!