Birthday Present

[vfkgirl]

AIBU - Really disappointed with DP's birthday gift - feels like he didn't give much thought to it and as I had to return it as it didn't fit I realized it was way less than what I gave him for his birthday. And before you say it isn't about money etc... I know that but..... in the past would have spent roughly the same on each others pressies... and there isn't any financial reason why we wouldn't spend about the same on each other... earn roughly the same, split living costs etc etc... do I say something?

No. Other than the size did you like the gift?

Giving doesn't need to be reciprocal.

What did he get you and what did you get him?

He got me sleepwear (wtf?) :-(

I got him tickets to one of his favourite bands in another city and took him away for the night for the gig... plus dinner etc...

Other than the size, no, I didn't particularly like the material of the sleepwear either... I can't wear it - nylon/polyester which just makes me hot and sweaty... :-(

Is he usually thoughtful? Did he maybe forget and grab something at the last minute?

Have you felt anything is off about the relationship? My ex husband said he knew things were over when I started buying shit gifts .

My DP bought me terrible gifts for my birthday this year. I didn't say anything but I think my reaction made it clear. Hopefully your reaction made it obvious to your DP too and he'll try harder next time. Or you could just buy him some crap nightwear that he'd never wear in a million years - maybe he'll get the hint!

You’ll get loads of replies saying you are BU fir expecting anything for your bday on here. I have no idea why everyone is so anti bday!

I had nothing for my bday from DP and I have no idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, he is usually more thoughtful.. we're together 4 years and this is definitely the least he has spent on me for any present...... it does feel like a last minute present too... both of which make me upset (lack of thoughtfulness and not like he didn't know if was my birthday....)

I think the fact that I'm returning the pressie should indicate that it was a rubbish pressie and I did say it was coz of the size and the fabric.

Now that I write this I realise it's not really the choice of present that is bugging me.... I can forgive poor choice of present, wrong fabric and size - it's more what the financial amount versus what I spent on him says about the state of our relationship....

I guess I wont really know until or unless I mention it....?

@Allthematchingchristmasclothes

Did you not say anything? I get it if both people have no interest in celebrating birthdays... but both of us (yes, my DP too) like to celebrate birthdays and make a little fuss and make each other feel special...

@doormat247 - OMG I know for sure he would be not be impressed with crap nightwear... Christmas present idea... lol....

Like all relationships our's isn't perfect and has it's ups and downs... but interesting question... hmmmm

That is shit OP and I'd be very disappointed too. Given what you gave him and the effort and thought involved, this just looks utterly thoughtless. I'd have to say something tbh.

I honestly think it would be perfectly reasonable to ask him about it - at a calm time in the house. You could say that you thought you both cared about birthdays, mention the trip away you gave him, maybe a previous present he gave you and then say you just felt so completely underwhelmed by this year's offering from him.

Use it as a way to check all is well with the relationship or just him in general.

I would be pretty pissed off - hope you can remain calm .

Love the idea of getting him some polyester pyjamas for Christmas though!