Mind blindness to fault

[Wacawaca19]

What is your explanation/ experience of this? My stbxh cannot accept ANY blame or responsibility for the troubled on our marriage an the exceptionally difficult time I’ve had since we separated. If I mention. Anything he did which hurt/ Angered me he just lashes out with something I did. I just cannot understand this not accepting any responsibility. He also still wants to have sex with me? I’d tell him where to go but I’m i. A very difficult mess because of my children and his contact with them which is so unfathomable to me it’s almost breaking me . Is resolve things for the children’s sakes but o my if he could accept the pain he’s caused me and the awful ways he’s behaved but he just turns everything around to me. He is extremely intelligent so I just don’t understand this. Any insight please?

Sorry I meant I’d resolve things with him but only if he could accept his hand in things.

It sounds like you need to stop holding out for an apology or him accepting responsibility, it doesn't look like that's going to happen, him accepting things will not change them, it might make you feel better in the short term but will not change the situation or take back any part he played in it. You need to break off any contact that isn't regarding your children, speak only when you need to, and only about them, do not get into any conversations regarding your relationship. You need to think of him as tour children's dad and not your ex, separate the two in your head and hopefully that will make it easier for you to deal with him.

A lot of people will never apologise or admit they've done anything wrong. It's unfathomable to those of us that can, but not uncommon.

I would stop bringing things up to him- you know the truth as you see it. He's not acknowledging it, there's no getting through to him, so why bother?

Have only as much to do with this person as you need to to arrange everyday contact etc with your DC if you want him to have it.

Definitely don't shag him- he doesn't deserve it after how he's hurt you.

If you got back with him, the same stuff would happen again, as he doesn't see anything wrong in how he acted. I'm sure it wouldn't actually be a good scene for your DC to grow up in.

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