Boyfriend is thinking of going out when we were supposed to see each other.

[SoonItsPretend]

Havent seen him properly in about 2 months. He went on a stag do with friends for about a week and then he was off to work for a month and a half (works away).
He's home this week. We were meant to be spending thursday-sunday together - we both planned a lazy weekend.
Boyfriend said on phone call brfore his friends from the stag do have asked him to go out saturday night and he said he's not sure.
I asked him if we were meant to be spendig saturday together? And he said "yes, i probably wont end up going",
So i said to him to not let me stop him going out and that thursday, friday and sunday is still fine,
And he said "yes i might go out for a little bit"
I told him that's fine but on the inside i feel a bit peed so needed a rant to mumsnet

That's no point telling him it's fine if it's not.

I thought id be a bit unreasonable if i got funny with him and i thought it might seem controlling but i dont know

The way I see it is he's been away with work for a month and a half so why wouldn't be want to see friends and his girlfriend? It seems reasonable to me that he has one night out of a long weekend with his mates.

If you're not happy with it then you need to say because there's no point saying things are fine only to stew over it and probably become one of those partners who smile nicely but fester and keep a mental tab of how unfair things are.

It's not that i'm festering about it, i'll be fine when it comes to it since i do believe maintaining friendships are important in a relationship. I think i just miss him that im being selfish in wanting him all to myself for those 4 days

Lesson number one: don’t say you’re fine for somebody to do something when really you aren’t, or try to make them second guess you. It isn’t fair, it isn’t helpful, and it’s manipulative.

Secondly, from your post it seems he’ll still be spending three of the originally planned four days with you, but wants to see his friends also. I can’t see an issue with that if he works away a lot and doesn’t get many opportunities to socialise. Just make the most of the three day’s you’ll have.

Sorry OP I wasn't clear. I didn't mean you're festering now, I meant that you should say something if it's bothering you because otherwise you risk becoming one of those partners who waves their OH off to do things whilst the resentment builds.

Or worse, become a Mumsnetter who thinks their OH should just know that fine doesn't mean fine, and so there's a whole load of mental gymnastics that could have been solved with a bit of sensible communication,but usually things come to a head when an OP has enough and has a massive rant about how feckless and selfish their OH is for doing X Y Z because surely it's obvious that they're in the wrong because their partner should read their OP's mind.

Hes not seen you or his mates in weeks. He’s got four days off and he wants to spend them with you
His friends give him a reality check, “when we seeing you mate?“
He then thinks yeah, I get to see my gf for three nights so why shouldn’t I see the lads, it’s only one night, I’ll try and see how she feels as I dont want to piss her off, but I did originally say I’d see her for four days but the lads are saying I’m being a woose...

He was being silly saying he’d see you for four days. He needs to keep his friendships going too. That’s ok. You should understand that he does want to be with you but it’s only normal he wants to see them too.

I’d encourage him to go and do something that night with your mates instead. Catch up with him Sunday evening and go to the pictures or something.