Friendship issue advice please

[Sno19]

Known this friend for about 3 years. Met through baby activities. Met up every now and then. Kids just got into same school in September so been seeing her everyday at drop offs and pickups. She was being very clingy and demanding. Had a fight recently where she was just over the top picking on me as a person and saying I don’t do anything for her family etc. I’ve decided to cut all ties with her as it’s just too much for me right now. She’s been messaging me making me feel like I’m the worst person in the world. Have blocked her number so probably further messages of abuse coming but I won’t know.

My dilemma is I know deep down she’s crazy and expecting too much from a person she hardly knows! She thinks we’re closer than we actually are. A part of me feels bad for her but my brain is telling me I don’t need this drama with my current situation with small children and husband who works away. How can I make peace with the fact I’ve cut ties with her? I’ve never cut ties with anyone in my life so this is new territory for me. I don’t even remember having a fight with a friend as an adult

Sorry forgot to add before pressed post : When I confronted her about the rubbish she’s saying about me not supporting her family she twisted it around and said she will speak to me about my behaviour when I’ve calmed down!

Well done for cutting ties don't get drawn in by her batshit behaviour. What you said in your second post makes her sound noisy nasty and manipulative. I have difficulty with boundaries and keeping people at arms length as well

I feel for you OP i'm going through it myself with a close friend. She always has a tendency to put me in the wrong, demands 100% of my attention to the point that she has demanded I finish my call and phone her back! She says stuff to upset me and then acts as if butter wouldn't melt and says I overreacted. Anyway long story short I've opened my eyes and seen for myself that my friend is toxic so I am slowly backing away from them (known them for about 10 years) anyway OP my point is don't engage. Block from social media and your phone and just go about your business if you see her a quick hi sorry cnt stop must rush and she'll get the msg because trust me getting away from them is hard but trust me you don't wanna be where I am in 10 years trying to slowly get away from a very toxic friendship which is proving difficult anyway OP good luck trying to back way keep going

Thank you for words of encouragement. Before I blocked her in WhatsApp I sent her a message saying her name calling and abuse at me was hurtful and I’ve been very upset. I also said I think we shouldn’t be friends anymore but try to be civil when we see each other as our kids are in same class. she texted me saying it seems like I blocked her on WhatsApp after sending her a “nasty” message! There was nothing nasty in my message in my opinion - what do u think?

To be honest I’ve seen her aggressive nature right from the start in terms of how she treats others. She was fine with me till we started seeing each other everyday. I just feel it’s going to be better in long run but in short term it will be awkward; like what do I do for my child’s birthday invite- I have to invite her child obviously,

OP just keep firm boundaries up. Don't engage with her nasty behaviour because these types have a habit of twisting it so you're the bad guy. Just keep her blocked and avoid if she keeps approaching you just hi how are you sorry can't stop and walk away. Not to sure about the kids thing maybe invite the little one after all its not their fault their mother is batshit crazy! She probably won't even let them come anyway cos of the falling out some people are that petty 🙄

Thank you Lucifer for your kind words!

I bumped into her today for the first time after the “fight” it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I was walking out and she was walking into school. I just walked on like she was no one. In the future if she does say hello I will reply back but right now I’m really upset about the things she has said to me. Her expectations of me are ridiculous! Friendships shouldn’t be this much drama. Old saying that you can’t choose family but can choose friends. I need to choose not to have her in my life, it’s just too much headache and she takes up so much of my time as I overthink everything!

@Sno19 sorry for late reply been working alot 🤯. Well done for keeping up firm boundaries has she backed off or is she still giving you abuse? I know how you feel these types have a habit of manipulating a situation where its always everyone else's fault and not theirs. My toxic friend is doing that right now asking me if I am calm because she won't tolerate my behaviour! This from a woman who lost her shit and went nuts because I finally reached the end of my tether and patience and told her that her possessive behaviour and nasty remarks will no longer be tolerated! She's currently playing the poor victim card and has retreated to lick her wounds after I refused to back down so I'm enjoying peace and quiet from her 🤣🤣🤣 god knows when she'll try another tactic but like you I'm standing firm so keep it going 😊