How long did you feel lonely for?

[rarelyonatuesday]

I split up from my husband approx 6 months ago. I'm trying really hard to make a new life for myself. I make sure that I keep in contact with friends, organise social activities, keep upbeat for the children etc. but inside I just feel lonely and like I don't really belong anywhere. I'm not sure if I'm depressed or whether this is just something that I've got to go through. Anyone else have any words of wisdom to share?

3 years on I still feel lonely

Sorry to hear that Blushing. I'm finding it exhausting to keep forcing myself to socialise and put a happy face on. I was hoping things would get better but just can't see how they will.

I feel lonely too. Very early days for me but I actually feel physical pain in my chest - heart break. It’s all so sad. It’s not just the loss of your family unit, but how you have envisaged your future, your dreams and the hopes you had to share with your partner. I feel so sad for my children. I do think I will be happier down the line and that sadness is a part of this grieving process. I gave been doing meditation when the emotions feel overwhelming (look on YouTube - meditation for change/sadness/heartbreak) they really do help xxx

The loneliness was the worst part of splitting up. Nothing stopped it, I tried dating, socialising etc etc. I then just had to accept it as part of the process. It took about 9months to a year to overcome the loneliness and be happy being alone. I still get bouts of loneliness at times over 4 years on from the break up but they are few and far between now. Its a part of getting over someone and at least you arent jumping from one relationship to another trying to avoid the feelings. Just sit with them, acknowledge them and know they will pass when you have processed them. I used to use meditations for loneliness on youtube and it helped me a little to calm my feelings.

Thanks Minion. I hope things get easier for you. I've tried mindfulness and meditation stuff, had counselling, cried on people's shoulders but I keep coming back to the same place where I just feel disconnected from everyone

Its been 4 month's wince we split and im struck massively. Really felt lonely today. I've basically cried all day. Had to stop myself calling him.

7 years on and I am still lonely 😞. Sorry OP not what you want to hear

Thanks Litterbird. It's good to hear that things are getting a little easier for you.

Oh dear Winona and fok. At least I know it's not just me! I keep telling myself to just get my act together but this is really hard!

It’s still really early days for you too though and all of the things you have tried are positive things to help you to deal with the pain. It’s a huge loss in so many ways. The emotional rollercoaster is something I’d heard people talk about but only now I’m experiencing it myself can I appreciate what they meant. I can go from one minute feeling actually quite optimistic about a new chapter to feeling so flat and empty the next. It’s horrible. But it’s a process and like @litterbird said - allow yourself to feel the feelings, acknowledge them but know that they are a natural part of loss and grief. Everyone is different too. Some people can appear to crack on or throw themselves into work or exercise whilst others struggle to get through the day. There is no right or wrong way to this process. Know that you are not alone and that you will come out the other side of this experience a stronger person. Xx

I separated from my wife 18 months ago and divorced 12 months, have tried to fill the little spare time I have with trips and activities I enjoy but still get lonely. Actually thought I’d got used to single life so I started dating and all that’s done is made me lonely again! Think a break to reset myself is now in order

My ex is moving out very soon. We've been split a long time but for several reasons, stayed living together until now. I've been lonely for about 6 years and he's been here that whole time. I can't wait for him to leave so I can start my life over with my babies.

6 years here ☹️

Thanks for the kind words Minion. It"s awful that so many people are going through this but it makes me feel much less guilty for not shaking this off yet, so thank you all for sharing.
Sleepyhead - that must have been so difficult for you. You must have incredible inner strength!

Not the same @rarelyonatuesday but my husband died 5 years ago (I was 33 with two small kids). It took me a year to embrace my independence. I'm in a happy relationship now but still absolutely love my own company. You don't have to feel lonely for years, just get comfortable with yourself.

Wow not completely split yet myself as she has not confirmed and still a few things to talk about but my lifes been no different with or without her, i do my own washing, make my own tea and clean the house top to bottom, she's with her sister at the moment and has been for nearly 2 weeks and tbh i'm enjoying being by myself doesn't affect me, watched loads of movies, got the dog for company, whatsapped a few friends, took the dog for a walk, watched the match, had a candle lit bubble bath lol, washed me clothes, try meditation folks, try exercise as well, maybe get a pet. Be strong.

You sound amazing Grobags! And good for you kzrg! I wish I could feel the same. I'm certainly no worse off from a practical point of view - if anything, things are easier around the house as I have one less person to pick up after and cook for. I think I'm sad for the loss of what I thought I had, rather than the reality. Good to hear from people who are moving on though - thanks!

I felt more sad, lonely, and betrayed within my marriage than I ever have actually being alone, so was pretty happy to get out of that situation. I don't feel that I am lonely now...but it's been 5 years since the end of my marriage and sometimes feel twinges of wanting to maybe try again but am not too bothered about it. I know this isn't what you asked just sharing an alternate view.

Single 9.5 years now. I have friends but it's not the same, just isn't. It's 9.5 years of waking up on your own, always going to bed on your own, holidays on your own (I don't bother now, it's pointless as I don't enjoy it without company). Relentless. Occasionally I go to a very dark place and wish I wouldn't wake up. It passes. But it's shit.