Right got a feeling this is going to be a long one so sit tight... and congratulations if u make it till the end!
I met my partner in early 2017, I was 30 he was 50. We enjoyed spending time together, it was all very casual but it worked for both of us.
By October 2017 he told me he couldn’t find work in our town but had secured work in another country so off he went. We stayed in touch as friends, with the odd flirty message being exchanged. Then I started visiting him, we started talking daily, not a month would pass without me getting on a flight.
He flew home to visit me, stayed in my house and we started to feel like we were entering into a proper relationship. When either of us left there were tears and promises to see each other soon.
By this point I had really fallen for this man, I told him this and was always met with it will never work while we live so far apart. Every time I broached him with it he shot me down. So I decided not to waste any more time and try live my life for me and be happy here.
I cut contact, met someone else in July 2018 and was getting on just fine. He started messaging me again, telling me he missed me and the other man wasn’t for me. I should get back to seeing him, he promised me marriage and that he would come home to be with me.
So the inevitable happened and I told the other guy it wasn’t working out. I got back into the habit of flying every three weeks to see my partner, with promised he would be home at Xmas 2018, then it was March, June, September and still he isn’t home.
He is now still in the other country, with no job and no where to live (he is kipping on a mates couch) we r nearly in November 2019 and he hasn’t kept to his end of the bargain.
I kno he has feelings for me although he never expressed them very well, he never says he loves me, never compliments me. And tbh I’m starting to feel like I’m wasting my time.
I brought up the subject with him earlier this week that my time waiting for him had come to an end, he was always aware it wasn’t infinite. He promised me again he would come back to move in to my home and start living our lives together.
I came off the phone more positive and thinking this was finally it. I had said I would be willing to pay for his flight home he just had to pick a date (I Thot as he wasn’t working it would be pretty soon)
On speaking with him this morning he’s now informed me he’s looking for “a few more weeks work” where he is...
I have mentally, physically, and financially carried him for the past almost 3 years... should I cut my losses now? Or hold on just another short time to see if he actually comes back to me?
God I sound so pathetic, and I’m actually not. I’m hard working, I have a job, I’m currently studying for my criminology and law degree as well as raising my teenage daughter on my own. I have a good life, I just wish I knew one way or the other if I need to move on or don’t give up hope. Please help