Normal emotions of seperation

[Louise000000]

Going through a seperation at the moment although we are still living together for now and trying to get on as friends.
My husband is also battling addiction issues which he's getting help for and I don't want to make him move out and away from his children when he is very vulnerable.
My emotions are up and down. I don't regret the decision to end our marriage but I do feel guilty and feelings of 'is this all really necessary for my own happiness'? Especially when hes feeling down.
Yesterday he was getting on at me because he saw a 'dating for married people' tab open on my ipad (it was one of these websites that pops up while I was trying to watch sex and the city online the other night)
Then because I was asking his sister about how she met her new man on Tinder, he's got this idea about me going on dating apps.
He also made a statement 'right so you have already said that your happiness is more important than me or the kids' which is totally twisting what I've said and I'm sure this is what he's telling his family etc.

When he's like this I just want him to move out but then I'd be left with 3 lost kids wondering why their dad has gone?
This is so hard. Battling with what the right thing to do is here!!
Can anyone share their experiences. Just looking for anyone who can relate really!!

Hes playing the victim.

Kick him out. Immediately.

My ex had a porn addiction, he was depressed, we had just had a baby, I had PND, and I walked out when DD was 3 months old. It made him more depressed and a bit erratic, he got with his female best friend and they're still together 9 months on and he's the absent dad he never wanted to be.

I regret walking out on him and splitting our family up. Luckily for my daughter, she doesn't know any different, but her face lights up when all 3 of us are together. It breaks my heart.

For your partner to see things like dating for married couples and to hear you talk about Tinder, of course it's going to hurt him. Of course he's going to play up and behave the way he's been behaving. He's hurting. I did the same when I had access to my exes Facebook after we split. I could see him talking to other women about us splitting up... it drove me nuts! I did and said some awful things because I was hurting.

I'm sorry if it's not the best advice but i thought I'd give you the perspective of someone who's been through it.

75renarde not an option until next year. I know what you mean though he is playing the victim at times.
RLEOM so now do you feel like you made the right decision?
For me it still sometimes feels selfish as this is for my own happiness: kids were happy before etc
I understand he is hurting, I seriously have not even thought about online dating though so he's paranoid! He's looking to blame me on some way I think.
It's weed he is addicted to so the withdrawal symptoms can also be to blame for his behaviour. He's sober 30 days now from a 20 year addiction!

Bump

Louise it's really difficult if not impossible to get addicted to weed.

Hes using weed as an excuse for his behaviour. Unless of course he was smoking skunk.

Skunk has much lower levels of CBD and higher ones of THC. But still not addictive.

You DO appreciate how dangerous a position you are in right now?

Whether he's technically addicted or not it's been a big part of his adult life. Any emotional situations he would smoke to dull the emotions.
I've just dropped him at work and hes ended with 'this isn't just your life, your mum dad and sister will be affected by this'
Guilt trip well affected nd truly working I've had a lump in my throat the whole way home. Feel like shit now!!

Well and truly that's meant to say

Oh honey!!!

How do we help you to get out of this?

He's being a self absorbed prick. He feels his emotions are more important than yours. The kids, parents, sisters and all and sundry are a smoke screen, he feels wounded. I'm sure you gave him ample warning, stick to your guns

Thank you. I needed to hear that!
He knows exactly what will guilt trip me. He knows my family are everything!

Why would anyone want someone to reconsider being with them because of guilt though I've no idea!!

Difficult for us to understand as its illogical to our mindset but not theirs

Its control. Pure and simple. If he perceives he can control you with guilt, he will do so. I know it sounds bonkers. It is. But there you go!

Yes you are very right. He's also trying to control me with money too.
This is hard!! At least he's away for a few days now

Good! So what can you do right now to get your ducks in order? Whilst you have this break.

I'm enjoying the peace just now. Time to gather my thoughts.
Got my first councilling/phycologist appt on Monday can't come quick enough!